A/N: Yelina’s POV, (obviously) somewhat AU. Contains intentional grammatical errata. Also, this is the first time I’ve ever let even vaguely steamy fic see the light of day, so, much though I hate to plead for mercy, don’t be too rough on the little crackbunny.
I can’t say I’ve never thought of it. I doubt that he’s never thought of it either. But there was always a distance before, a distance I hated but didn’t want to take a step across. I was comfortable with that distance. It kept out anything that didn’t mesh with the life I’d built.
I am a widow with a son and a life of my own. He is my brother-in-law. We work together when the need arises. The distance protected that.
And then we closed that distance too soon, too suddenly, and I’m still not sure how or why.
There are any number of things I could blame this on – the late night, a generally frustrating day at work, the half-glass of red wine I had with dinner (not even enough to make me dizzy) – but they are feeble excuses, another attempt to make sense of everything, an attempt to make this a momentary indiscretion.
There were no doubts or second-guesses at first; the white-heat of his skin against mine made it hard to think at all. But then something pulled me back, something shouted in my ear: Your son is going to see you in bed with his uncle. And what will you say to him then? How will you explain that?
I felt sick at remembering it, and yet I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid as to forget. Since then, no matter how much I want to let go, there’s been a tether around my waist, and I can’t slip out of it because if I do I’ll fall and I’ll never get back up.
He is almost silent; there’s no sound but that of his breathing. And as I listen to him there is that whispering, reminding me that Ray wasn’t like that, Ray used to laugh, remember? He used to smile and laugh so loud that you had to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t wake your son who’s going to see you…
I’m not the only one thinking it; he’s barely looked at me since we began. What is he looking at instead? Is he tangled up in the same lifeline that I am?
A few minutes more and it has ended; I collapse, exhausted and spent, still on top of him. We’re looking away from each other, and his hand running through my hair doesn’t make me feel any closer to him.
“We shouldn’t do this again,” he says, quietly. And yet his pulse is still racing.
“I know,” I respond.
It is only across that distance that we can look each other in the eye.
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annoyed
(no subject)
Wheeee H/Y! You're encouraged to write this pair whenever you so desire. It made my night. I love the scenario, but I love that you managed to still keep them apart; a contrast set up well the "heat of his skin against hers" and hand in her hair, versus his quiet and the lack of eye contact. That "distance" between them is very much a part of what defines their relationship, and as much as my brain would prefer sunshine and fluffiness, I think that if this were to play out, that's kind of how it would end up.
I wasn't sure about the first person POV at first, especially given how few people seem to be able to write Yelina at all. But it works out well enough, getting stronger as it goes on. Favorite lines:
but they are feeble excuses ... an attempt to make this a momentary indiscretion.
Beautiful wording.
And as I listen to him there is that whispering, reminding me that Ray wasn’t like that, Ray used to laugh, remember? He used to smile and laugh so loud that you had to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t wake your son who’s going to see you…
Nicely painted picture, but I especially love how the thought starts to run away from her, spinning out and blending with the preceding thought, "your son is going to see you..."
Damn, I think this comment is almost as long as the story. Must learn the definition of "concise."
(no subject)
And the review's still shorter than the story, so feel no need to self-censor. XD
Again, thanks for the in-depth review. This pair presents some intriguing possibilities, so I'm sure I'll play around with it more. :)