stunt_muppet

If a plotbunny inspires a crack!fic, does that make it a crackrabbit? *shakes head* Oh right. Fic review.

Wheeee H/Y! You're encouraged to write this pair whenever you so desire. It made my night. I love the scenario, but I love that you managed to still keep them apart; a contrast set up well the "heat of his skin against hers" and hand in her hair, versus his quiet and the lack of eye contact. That "distance" between them is very much a part of what defines their relationship, and as much as my brain would prefer sunshine and fluffiness, I think that if this were to play out, that's kind of how it would end up.

I wasn't sure about the first person POV at first, especially given how few people seem to be able to write Yelina at all. But it works out well enough, getting stronger as it goes on. Favorite lines:

but they are feeble excuses ... an attempt to make this a momentary indiscretion.
Beautiful wording.

And as I listen to him there is that whispering, reminding me that Ray wasn’t like that, Ray used to laugh, remember? He used to smile and laugh so loud that you had to cover his mouth so he wouldn’t wake your son who’s going to see you…
Nicely painted picture, but I especially love how the thought starts to run away from her, spinning out and blending with the preceding thought, "your son is going to see you..."

Damn, I think this comment is almost as long as the story. Must learn the definition of "concise."