stunt_muppet

...that on Valentine's Day, I rant about people ranting about Valentine's Day.

But the bitterness and general emo-dom surrounding V-Day has become so annoying this year that I feel like I have to rant a day early.

You know me. I normally have no problem with bitterness. So if it's getting on my nerves, it's gotta be pretty bad.

So no, college, I will not be joining you in celebrating "Black Valentine's Day" or "Anti-Valentine's Day" or whatever the hell name you've given it this year. Valentine's Day is the one day of the year I'm not going to be bitter. Know why? Because everyone expects you to be bitter on Valentine's Day. It's become almost fashionable. I'd rather be bitter when everyone least expects it. That way I've got the element of surprise. XD



I feel I should preface these rants with a disclaimer. I have been single every single Valentine's Day for my entire life. No exceptions. And there was a time (mostly middle school) where I was as bitter and malcontent about it as a human being could be. There were years where I spent V-Day literally crying in a bathroom and wishing I was dead. So these are not smug, self-satisfied pronouncements of someone who's in a relationship or "doesn't understand how it feels" to be alone on V-Day, etc. I do. Please consider that before you send rebutal rants.

The most common complaints I hear about V-Day are that it's a fake, meaningless commercial holiday and that it makes single people feel unloved and rejected. I take issue with both those complaints, but I especially take issue with both of them used together. Because there's a very clear hole in that statement: If V-Day's meaningless, why would it bother you how it treats single people? If you really think it has no value (I perspective I perfectly understand), then ignore it. Other people's birthdays are meaningless to you, too, so unless you know whoever's birthday it is, you ignore it. Simple solution.

Point #1: Valentine's Day is a meaningless commercial holiday. It's not about love. It's about making the jewelry/candy/flower companies rich.

Okay. So it's a commercial holiday. So's Halloween. I haven't heard anyone bitching about that yet.

Let's face it. This is a capitalist country. Our society survives because people try to make money. Give the companies even the barest excuse to sell something, and they will transform it into a money-spinning extravaganza. It's not just Valentine's Day. It's everything. St. Patrick's Day, for example. How much of that (at least here in the States) do you think is really about Irish heritage and the life of St. Patrick? While I'm sure there are legitimate observations of St. Patrick's Day lurking around here somewhere, what we see in our daily lives is mostly about selling Irish beer and various green-colored crap. And shamrock-shaped chocolates.

Still not satisfied? What about something smaller? What about giving your spouse-to-be an engagement ring? What about birthstones? Those two "traditions" were completely made up by jewelry companies. They're really very good at that. But I have yet to see anyone refuse an engagement ring on the grounds that it's commercialistic and meaningless. (This is not the same as agreeing not to get one for financial reasons, which I cannot object to. After all, food and a roof over your head are far more important than some celebratory shiny.)

On these grounds, I consider the "V-Day is a commercial holiday" argument null and void. So's everything else. Deal.

On to Point #2: Valentine's Day makes single people feel unloved.

I can see the validity to this arguement. After all, when there's all this hoo-hah going on about celebrating love, it's easy to be lonely, particularly if you've been trying unsuccessfully to get into a relationship.

What's easy to forget is that someone out there still loves you. It may not be the sappy, warm-fuzzy kind of love that people make bad movies about, but someone loves you.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Being loved by your parents or friends isn't the same (and probably isn't as satisfying) as being in a romantic relationship. But the point is, you are not unloved and not unlovable. Not being in a relationship on Valentine's Day does not mean that you're a worthless human being. Nor does it mean that nobody will ever love you, or that everyone hates you. It means that you're not in a relationship right now. That's all.

A corollary: I can assure you that, on February 14th, there are a whole lot of people out there feeling just as lonely as you. Why don't you go talk to one of them? I'm serious. Find someone who's sitting alone and strike up a conversation. It doesn't have to be your future soulmate. But it certainly could be a new friend. Doesn't that seem a bit more productive than wearing all black and listening to angry music?

And now, abruptly, to the less sensitive bit. I hope nobody's feelings get stepped on here.

So you (or we, I should say) aren't in a relationship on Valentine's Day. So we're not part of the whole love-fest. Frankly, I don't see why that means we should begrudge the people who are a chance to celebrate. I can't speak from firsthand experience, but I imagine that being in a loving relationship is a pretty nice thing. Why shouldn't they be happy? Saying that it's wrong to celebrate Valentine's Day because not everyone's in a relationship is like telling people they can't celebrate their children's birthdays because not everyone has kids.

So yes, I understand being lonely. And I understand not feeling great on Valentine's Day. But hating the entire holiday and saying that nobody should celebrate Valentine's Day, ever, no matter what, is frankly pretty selfish. It's telling other people that they can't be happy because you're not happy.

On a slightly less harsh note, V-Day provides a beautiful excuse for single folk to love themselves. It's a perfect day to go get a massage, or go see an unromantic movie (it won't be as crowded) or go out to dinner at your favorite spot. And hey - chocolate's on sale. Must I say more?

Many apologies if this made you mad. I don't mean to insult single people, or lonely people, or people who really are feeling bad on Valentine's Day. I'm not saying that you have to be happy on V-Day, or that you have to like it. I'm not the world's biggest fan of it myself. All I'm objecting to are people who make an effort to bitter and hateful and unpleasant today, the people who wear all black and set fire to bouquets of roses (yes, I've seen people do that).