stunt_muppet

Hmmm...well, let's discard the whole "one line" premise right here. XD

From that science-fiction-fantasy novel I kept meaning to write:

"Yeah. Yeah, actually, that's exactly what I did. I got through about ten security checkpoints without a hitch - most of which, let's see, involve fingerprint scans and keycards and stairs - broke out the Prime Specimen even though I don't know what it is, got it past the same checkpoints, found it a hiding place, and got away without a single alert on my person! And I did it all while I'm stuck in this fucking hamster wheel. My god, I'm brilliant."

From a short story I kind of wrote once for class:

Amber rolled her eyes. "First job today, one Mrs. Dora Evans. Mrs. Evans would like some confirmation that her husband is a philandering son of a bitch. She was kind enough to provide us with probable locations and times, his schedule, where he works, and what he drives to get there." She handed the file up to Tilly. "Basically, she did half our work for us, so I figured we’d get that out of the way first. After Mrs. Evans, we've got a couple of traffic accidents, a mom who thinks her daughter's smoking pot behind the high school football field, and a few very creative phrases carved into the side of a Beemer." She squinted at the last few photos. "Jesus, even I hadn’t heard these."

"Another cheatin' heart and pair of roving eyes." Tilly shook her head. "Whatever happened to 'till death do us part', 'love, honor, and cherish’, all that?"

"Said the two-time divorcee," Amber raised an eyebrow.

"The ex-Mr. Margaret Tilenas don’t count, Amber. We’ve discussed this. I’m hardly at fault for divorcing an import porn addict and The Man Without A Backbone."