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Because I'm a slight movie junkie, and despite my artsy pretentions remain addicted to the mass-consumption fluff that Hollywood shoves out each summer, I took a look at the Summer Movies Guide on my local browser.
A few quick thoughts:
And now, back to doing work in the most halfhearted fashion imaginable, packing, and debating about which Epic Fanwork to tackle next.
A few quick thoughts:
1. Wait. Wait, they're actually making a Speed Racer movie? I thought that was a joke.
And apparently, the Halo movie is actually-factually in production, though by whom it doesn't say. And here I thought that was a joke too.
Now where are my Skies of Arcadia, Eternal Darkness, and Zelda movies, Hollywood? Come on. You're going to get to them eventually, and I'd rather someone with a scrap of actual talent swipe them up before Uwe Boll does. (No, I still haven't forgiven him for Alone in the Dark. Why do you ask?)
2. Speaking of jokes, another Hulk movie? Which has nothing to do with the Ang Lee versionthank all that is merciful? Starring Edward Norton as the Hulk? And TIM FREAKING ROTH as the Abomination or whatever the Hulk's nemesis is (witness my failure to engage in comics fangirling)?
No. I'm sorry. I don't believe that. I don't care if there's actually a poster and a trailer and everything. They are all part of an elaborate April Fools' hoax that has overstayed its welcome. I'm not buying it.
Seriously, what is it with all these Serious Ac-tors suddenly appearing in superhero movies? Christian Bale as Batman, Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Edward Freaking Norton as the Hulk...what's next, Even Rachel Wood as Wonder Woman?
The prospect of Hellboy 2, however, placates me for some reason.
Also, if we're moving throughout the comic-book-superheroes canon, when do I get a Martian Manhunter movie?shut up I'm totally qualified to fangirl him even if I only ever saw him on that Justice League series.
3. Did we need another Mummy movie? Even if Brenden Fraser looks eerily like Leon Kennedy in the press materials?
3.a. OF COURSE we needed another Indiana Jones movie. How can you even make the comparison?
4. And Mamma Mia is a movie now. This is fortunate for me, since I wanted to see it but found the plane fare to London a bit prohibitive, but this trend of snapping up musicals for adaptation makes me think horrible thoughts about the surely-pending cinematic version of Les Miserables. Starring Russel Crowe as Jean Valjean!
...I just scared myself half to death. Let's move on.
5. Kit Kittridge: An American Girl has been adapted into a big-screen movie, starring Abigail Breslin in the title role. I'm mildly bitter about this, because my American Girl (Felicity) only ever got a TV movie, and as far as I'm concerned there were no American Girls after Josefina (and she's only allowed in because she's awesome and has a mantilla). I'm sure Kitt's wonderful, but she's not the American Girl I grew up with, and her getting a movie before Samantha, Felicity, Molly, Kirsten, and Addie grates on the nerves.
6. ...Speed Racer movie wtf. I can't get over this, you guys.
[ETA] 7. ZOMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE CLONE WARS MOVIE. How did I almost forget the Clone Wars movie?
Dear Cinematic Santa Claus: This has the potential to either be brain-blowingly amazing or suck very, very hard. Please, please, please let it be the former.
And apparently, the Halo movie is actually-factually in production, though by whom it doesn't say. And here I thought that was a joke too.
Now where are my Skies of Arcadia, Eternal Darkness, and Zelda movies, Hollywood? Come on. You're going to get to them eventually, and I'd rather someone with a scrap of actual talent swipe them up before Uwe Boll does. (No, I still haven't forgiven him for Alone in the Dark. Why do you ask?)
2. Speaking of jokes, another Hulk movie? Which has nothing to do with the Ang Lee version
No. I'm sorry. I don't believe that. I don't care if there's actually a poster and a trailer and everything. They are all part of an elaborate April Fools' hoax that has overstayed its welcome. I'm not buying it.
Seriously, what is it with all these Serious Ac-tors suddenly appearing in superhero movies? Christian Bale as Batman, Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, Edward Freaking Norton as the Hulk...what's next, Even Rachel Wood as Wonder Woman?
The prospect of Hellboy 2, however, placates me for some reason.
Also, if we're moving throughout the comic-book-superheroes canon, when do I get a Martian Manhunter movie?
3.a. OF COURSE we needed another Indiana Jones movie. How can you even make the comparison?
4. And Mamma Mia is a movie now. This is fortunate for me, since I wanted to see it but found the plane fare to London a bit prohibitive, but this trend of snapping up musicals for adaptation makes me think horrible thoughts about the surely-pending cinematic version of Les Miserables. Starring Russel Crowe as Jean Valjean!
...I just scared myself half to death. Let's move on.
5. Kit Kittridge: An American Girl has been adapted into a big-screen movie, starring Abigail Breslin in the title role. I'm mildly bitter about this, because my American Girl (Felicity) only ever got a TV movie, and as far as I'm concerned there were no American Girls after Josefina (and she's only allowed in because she's awesome and has a mantilla). I'm sure Kitt's wonderful, but she's not the American Girl I grew up with, and her getting a movie before Samantha, Felicity, Molly, Kirsten, and Addie grates on the nerves.
6. ...Speed Racer movie wtf. I can't get over this, you guys.
[ETA] 7. ZOMG I FORGOT ABOUT THE CLONE WARS MOVIE. How did I almost forget the Clone Wars movie?
Dear Cinematic Santa Claus: This has the potential to either be brain-blowingly amazing or suck very, very hard. Please, please, please let it be the former.
And now, back to doing work in the most halfhearted fashion imaginable, packing, and debating about which Epic Fanwork to tackle next.
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