(no subject) [stunt

My plans for the weekend, consider them made.

Okay. The initial rules for the Pirates of the Caribbean drinking game:

Take a drink every time:

Whole Series:

- Jack says “savvy?”

- Rum is mentioned or consumed.

- Will shouts “Elizabeth!”

-Take two every time Will shouts Elizabeth’s name instead of actually doing anything.

- You find yourself rooting for Norrington.

- Geoffrey Rush rrrrrrrrrrolls an “r”, holds a vowel longer than necessary, says “arr!”, or generally acts like he’s not taking this seriously.

- Jack the Monkey does something useful.

- Will and Elizabeth flirt, kiss, or make goo-goo eyes at each other.

- Jack flirts with Elizabeth.

- Two drinks every time Jack flirts with Will/makes gratuitous mention of the state of Will’s genitalia.

- Three drinks every time Jack flirts with Norrington.

- The ‘theme music’ starts playing (da-da dun dun, da-da dun dun, da-DA dun dun dada duDUN!)

Two drinks if you can chorus right along.

- Pintel and Ragetti bicker like old marrieds.

- Pintel and Ragetti call Elizabeth “poppet”.

- The Royal Navy is suspiciously incompetent.

- Someone we actually know/like dies.

-Optional: One drink per boatload of extras that gets killed.

- The camera zooms in on someone’s really, really bad teeth.

- Elizabeth is captured.

-Two drinks if Will, Jack, or anyone else is captured.

-Mr. Cotton’s parrot says something relevant.

-Something explodes.

-“Sea turtles, mate.”

Curse of the Black Pearl:

-Elizabeth screams.

-Jack gets slapped.

-You spot a joke that will subsequently get done to death for the rest of the franchise.

-Norrington shouts in a butchy masculine fashion.

-Two drinks if Will shouts in a butchy masculine fashion.

-Elizabeth’s corset is mentioned.

-The medallion is mentioned.

-Double drink score every time someone shouts “The medallion!”

-Jack upstages someone.

-Barbossa upstages someone.

-The apple is mentioned.

Dead Man’s Chest:

-The Kraken eats a ship.

-Two drinks if it takes the Kraken a really long time to eat the ship, instead of just sucking it underwater like it does with the first one.

-You can’t understand what the hell Davy Jones is saying.

-Two if you can’t understand what the hell Tia Dalma is saying.

-Someone explains something that’s already been explained fifty times (we know what’s in the damn chest already), gives unhelpful or redundant advice, or embarks on a completely meaningless subplot.

-Jack screams and/or flails.

-Davy Jones plays the organ.

-Oh, go on – take a celebratory drink while Will’s wet, naked, and getting beaten. Some canons need fanfic for this.

-Cutler Beckett changes the tone of his voice (happens so rarely, you gotta celebrate).

-You spot something that’ll be important in the next movie.

At World’s End:

-You have no idea what’s going on or why.

-Elizabeth gives a rousing pre-battle speech.

-You still can’t understand what Davy Jones or Tia Dalma are saying.

-Another Jack shows up (the scene in Davy Jones’ Locker does not count).

-Pirates are referred to as free, liberated men, rather than murderers, thieves, rapists, pillagers, and bastions of disease.

-Elizabeth is more competent than anyone else in the movie.

-Someone changes sides, double-crosses someone, or turns out to have been working for someone else all along.

-Double drink score if you can’t figure out why.

-There’s a Gratuitous Continuity Reference (GCR = a reference to an earlier movie that has nothing to do with the actual plot).

-The Pirate Lords actually do something (excluding Jack, Barbossa, and Elizabeth).

-Celebratory chugs for Davy Jones’ safety bucket and Captain Keith Richards.

Finish off the bottle every time the enemy is vanquished and freedom is secured!

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Further suggestions are welcome. Now, to arrange the epic festivities...

July

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... your summary of World's End is so accurate, I can't even tell you. It's possible that I just wasn't paying any attention at all, but seriously, I couldn't pick out who was on whose side and why for ninety percent of the movie. Writers probably thought they were being crafty.

No they were just trying to fucking confuse you.

Watched like 2/3 of it with my sister then gave up when she left and stopped explaining PLOT TWISTS slash no one enjoyed my running commentary any longer. :P

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See, I kind of thought I had it figured out about an hour into the movie. And then the writers threw like ten more subplots at me, just to fuck with my head. I gave up after that.

Subsequent viewings have made me realize that the writers had no clue what they were doing, either. I'm pretty sure they just threw some set pieces together and hoped the audience would figure it out.

*sigh* Oh, Pirates.

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HEEEEEEEEEEEE! I love you for the fact that I cannot stop laughing, although I am vaguely worried that I will never be able to watch the series again without thinking of this. I used to take my Pirates movies seriously! Kind of! At certain times once in a while!

Favorite Rules:
-Take two every time Will shouts Elizabeth’s name instead of actually doing anything.
-The Royal Navy is suspiciously incompetent.
-Pirates are referred to as free, liberated men, rather than murderers, thieves, rapists, pillagers, and bastions of disease.
(wait, are you implying that some of them aren't just innocently free and liberated men? :D)

As for some canons needing fanfic for wet & naked beatings...heh. Well said.

No, don't worry, there used to be a time when I took the Pirates movies seriously too. I think I was cured of that notion when I tried watching At World's End at home and...

"Wait. Wait a second. This movie doesn't make any sense. But...I mean...I liked it. I remember liking it in the theaters. Why doesn't it make any fucking sense now?"

It was a little hard after that.

Of course, the ficcish perfection of That Scene in Dead Man's Chest is kind of ruined by the fact that it's his dad holding the whip. But I pretend he isn't there, so it's okay.

Hm, that explains it. I haven't seen AWE since my first viewing. Perhaps I was just awed by the giant screen.

And yes, pretense is good. And necessary. Highly necessary.

...swear I did not see that pun at all.

*giggle* Neither did I, until you pointed it out. But you're quite right - I think all those colors and all that sound just overrides one's higher thinking centers when it's on the big screen.

Okay, seriously, if you have people taking shots every time Will screams "Elizabeth!" you are going to have a lot of very drunk people rolling around on your floor. Just saying... :P

See, that's why I wrote "Take a drink". In my first draft of this, it was "Take a shot every time..."

And then I realized that everyone would be dead from alcohol poisoning halfway through the first movie if we did that.

aha! There you are! Now, to procure the alcohol ~~which could also be done Tuesday~~.

Oh, go on – take a celebratory drink while Will’s wet, naked, and getting beaten. Some canons need fanfic for this.

Yes, yes! ::beams at you::

The acquisition of alcohol would also be possible. I do need to go grocery shopping anyway.

Speaking of which, what time are we meeting for our epic expedition? I realized about as soon as I headed to bed that I had neglected these small but significant details. (Also, I figure I'll probably skip out on my meeting tonight if I have to.)

Yes, yes! ::beams at you::

*grins back* That little moment is not the reason I bought the Dead Man's Chest DVD at all.

oh my.. what a drinking game! So this is what you all were talking about during dinner. I was so oblivious!!!

I have a feeling if I ever did this, I might end up more drunk than Jack was when he was drinking his rum...... Hm. This game should be played with RUM -- just rum.

Haha...that's why I think this should be attempted with soda first. Or something with a very, very low alcohol content. I know I, for one, am a lightweight drinker, so attempting this for real would probably render me quite dead by Movie 1. :D

Ah, so we forgot the alcohol, but the rest was definitely a journey of epic proportions. :D

Yes, the alcohol kind of got lost in the epic-ness of it all. But we had DVD geekery and mall-strolling and Concord-exploring in there too, so I'm not complaining.

Complaining? Never. Even if

russianmissile disparaged all my purchases this morning. Fie upon him, I say.

kayliemalinza was quite supportive of the geekery, except for the lack of sale prices at Best Buy. But the shoe savings were worth it.

Pffft. What does he know of the mad genius of Dinosaurs and the importance of special Death Note box sets? Pffft I say.

Nothing. He knows nothing. And the cruciality of cute shoes is something that is totally wasted upon his philistine self. He doesn't even remember Dinosaurs.

...he doesn't remember Dinosaurs?! What?

Clearly there is no hope for him. An emergency viewing of Dinosaurs is required - nay, urgent! - for the sake of his enlightenment.

I am in complete agreement. Especially since, although his roommate recalls the series, it is not with fondness, apparently. I do not know how this is possible.

Chase mirrors my sentiments here. Because not remembering Dinosaurs with fondness is like not liking pie. Or kittens. Or something.

Yes. ::nodnod:: It's probably some kind of crime, innit? ::shifty-eyes::

Icon love, first off.

And yes, actually, I do believe it is a crime. Punishable by forced re-viewings of the source material until he comes to his senses and realizes how awesome it was.

Heehee, yes. Because Dean's Metallicar is totally about freedom.

I think this is a good plan; we can work it in with our fangirl squeeing over said source material with all our other fannish friends, as well as ~~indoctrination~~ education of any others who haven't seen our awesome show.

"It's not an engine and a gas tank and a transmission; that's what a Metallicar needs. But what the Metallicar is, really is..."

Ahem. Sorry. Done now.

stunt_muppet

July