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You know, I was going to keep all my thoughts to myself about this episode until I wrote the review, but I just can't keep this in any longer:
Well, fine. FINE, CSI: Miami, if that's the way you want it. Screw you TOO. *tantrum*
The rant enclosed may contain spoilers. Such as they are. And capslock.
And then you gave me this. THIS. Show, what the fuck was that supposed to be? All potential, no follow-through, that's what it was. We have a promising case that takes advantage of widely-publicized Internet crazy AND the possibility that Horatio might be in danger. And what to we get? The EXACT SAME SEASON 5 CRAP. Stupid vacuous high schoolers murdering each other for boyfriends and the return of the Bulletproof Ninja.
To be honest, I never had high hopes for the case. It looked like a very slight improvement over Season 5 - emphasis here is on VERY. But I figured I could deal with that if you gave me Horatio injury. Nothing major, obviously, because we would have heard about that, but a bullet to the shoulder would hardly kill him. But no. No, instead, we get an angry teenager with daddy issues and another slap in the face that you STILL HAVEN'T ADRESSED HALF HIS FUCKING BACKSTORY. How often are you going to bring up his parents without actually telling us about them? It's irritating.
I can list two good things about this episode, maybe three if you give me a while to think about it. Ryan's presence was more than welcome, for a starters; he spent this whole episode basically being awesome and cute. Now please transplant this Ryan into a better episode.
The other thing is that Horatio and Stetler are even gayer for each other than previously imagined. I hardly thought that possible, but you've just blown me away, show. In fact, I think by this point, UST and rival!sex are the only possible way you could make this episode up to me. Get cracking. (Yelina can even join in if she wants to.)
Of course, that could just be my bad habit of inventing UST where there is none to cushion the pain of a bad episode, because I was feeling the Horatio/Ryan and Eric/Ryan lovin' too, but...IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH.
And the trailers for next week? The hell do you mean it took him 16 years to find his son?! He wasn't even looking for him! He didn't know he existed! Get your own damn canon straight!
Aoshdenfusbhfdjghnsmjjdjrhnvi I DON'T DESERVE THIS CRAP FROM YOU, MIAMI.
To be honest, I never had high hopes for the case. It looked like a very slight improvement over Season 5 - emphasis here is on VERY. But I figured I could deal with that if you gave me Horatio injury. Nothing major, obviously, because we would have heard about that, but a bullet to the shoulder would hardly kill him. But no. No, instead, we get an angry teenager with daddy issues and another slap in the face that you STILL HAVEN'T ADRESSED HALF HIS FUCKING BACKSTORY. How often are you going to bring up his parents without actually telling us about them? It's irritating.
I can list two good things about this episode, maybe three if you give me a while to think about it. Ryan's presence was more than welcome, for a starters; he spent this whole episode basically being awesome and cute. Now please transplant this Ryan into a better episode.
The other thing is that Horatio and Stetler are even gayer for each other than previously imagined. I hardly thought that possible, but you've just blown me away, show. In fact, I think by this point, UST and rival!sex are the only possible way you could make this episode up to me. Get cracking. (Yelina can even join in if she wants to.)
Of course, that could just be my bad habit of inventing UST where there is none to cushion the pain of a bad episode, because I was feeling the Horatio/Ryan and Eric/Ryan lovin' too, but...IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH.
And the trailers for next week? The hell do you mean it took him 16 years to find his son?! He wasn't even looking for him! He didn't know he existed! Get your own damn canon straight!
Aoshdenfusbhfdjghnsmjjdjrhnvi I DON'T DESERVE THIS CRAP FROM YOU, MIAMI.
You know, I managed to hold off writing a gratuitous-torture S5 alternate finale for this long, but now I kind of think I have to do it out of pure revenge. Your vitals better be damn ready for me, Horatio. *steeples fingers evilly*
(On another note, I haven't used this icon in forever. I missed it.)
rageful
(no subject)
Who are you, and what have you done with my Muppet?!
I refuse to admit that I may have had visions of slashbunnies at some point in there.I actually kind of liked this episode. (see also: grim determination to love my show again no matter what) I mean, the main girl - Candace? - seemed fairly normal, so we really only had one character fitting the Spoiled/Crazy Rich Person stereotype, and I didn't think the overall story was too over the top.
The "you jailed my father, prepare to die!" kid story could have been more compelling if we had any sense of history about the case, but
I didn't feel really let down until the kid ended up firing blanks, because oh my GOD, Horatio really deserved to die right there - out of all the stupid stunts he has pulled when it comes to facing deranged people with guns, that had to be the dumbest one ever. "Let me just stand here in this deserted place without backup or a weapon in my hands and wait for you to shoot me, trusting that you didn't switch guns and/or figure out the trick and replace the blanks with real bullets!"
Anyway. In other comments, yes, this Ryan needs to be a permanent fixture. He is fantastic. And I yelled exactly the same thing at the stupidly-worded trailer.
(no subject)
(And seriously - why didn't they just put a "Slashfen, start your engines!" caption on that scene? I don't even ship them and I thought it was blatant.)
Candace was refreshingly normal, and in fact she gave me some small hope for the episode in the beginning. But I have always had a problem with storylines that involve privileged children killing each other over something so trivial as boyfriends, so as soon as Murderess showed up, the case started to go downhill for me. It's entertaining once or twice, maybe, when used for shock value that young people would be capable of cold-blooded murder (see: CSI, "Fannysmackin'"), but it's been done so often on Miami that I'm tired of it.
Also, Candace's mother was a twat and made the entire episode that much harder to sit through.
Out of all the stupid stunts he has pulled when it comes to facing deranged people with guns, that had to be the dumbest one ever.
You know, I almost didn't notice how dumb that was until after the credits started rolling. I guess I just sort of mentally filled in the blanks there - bulletproof vest, backup hidden somewhere...I don't know. But the stunt with the blanks just brought that all crashing down, because how could he COUNT on this kid stealing his gun? Kid's born into the mob; I'm sure he has access to all the firearms he needs.
I'm just going to sit here and pretend that the entire episode consisted of Nice!Ryan. Maybe that will make me feel better.
(no subject)
The next episode should be H dropping his glasses and then someone steps on them immediately afterwards. That's worse than any gunshot.
(no subject)
(Although I must respectfully decline the mpreg, as that would cause my mind to terminally malfunction. Hard to take my classes with a permanent "Brain has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down".)
And, you know, given that broken SOJs would psychologically damage Horatio beyond repair...an episode like that might make up for the lack of injury in S5. Truly you are a genius.
*squeeze*
(no subject)
Sowwie, didn't mean to hurt your brain, it was process of elimination really.
Indeed, for they are the SOURCE OF HIS POWER!!
(no subject)
(I need an uke!Ryan icon...)
(no subject)
Check my post, I made one for you n_n hope you like it!
(no subject)
I has much work tonight; may I perhaps call you tomorrow, after classes are finished?