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stunt_muppet at 06:05pm on 29/05/2007 under csi:miami, fanfics, fic posts, fic posts: het, horatio/marisol, the sixth-date rule
stunt_muppet at 06:05pm on 29/05/2007 under csi:miami, fanfics, fic posts, fic posts: het, horatio/marisol, the sixth-date ruleSo, scant hours after posting that whiny entry about my inability to finish Chapter 2 of Sixth-Date Rule...I finish Chapter 2 of Sixth-Date Rule. I'm not entirely satisfied with it, but at least it's done.
Sort of.
See, I've been trying to think of a way to finish the fic for weeks, and nothing's come to mind, nothing that doesn't sound exactly like the end of Horatio's section, anyway. I turn to you, my loverly flist, for suggestions. How should I wrap up this section? Should I just leave it where it is? Any help you could give would be invaluable.
And, as always, feel free to comment, critique, and grammatically nitpick as you see fit.
RL Note: I start work tomorrow. I am writing to distract myself from how incredibly nervous I am.
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He was also, whenever he looked at her, making a point of never glancing below her neck. She decided to suspend judgment.
Still, she knew she was making progress. She’d already made him laugh today, which on their earlier dates had taken the better part of the evening. Did she dare attempt a handhold? It would be her first order of business, once his hands were off the steering wheel.
With nothing much to say, Marisol turned to look out the window. It was a few hours yet before sunset, but already the sky in the east was a faded red and orange, a washed-out version of the colors in the west. She had always been captivated by sunsets; she remembered being very small and asking her mother where those colors came from, since she hadn’t seen them for the rest of the day. But it had been quite a while since she’d just stopped and watched one.
It took her a moment to notice that neither of them had spoken since they started driving, and that Horatio didn’t seem to mind her silence. She didn’t feel the need to fill the empty space with chitchat or lovely-weather pleasantries, or to ask him exactly what had happened at work, or to say anything, really. There’d be time enough to talk later, when she had something to talk about.
Time enough. Now there was a phrase she hadn’t used in a while.
No. She thought. No, no, no. You’re not thinking about that now. Not here.
But she found that she suddenly wanted to speak, to block out those old thoughts. “Do you want to do something after dinner?”
He looked at her very briefly before turning back to the road. “You have something in mind?”
“Not really.” She shrugged. “I just thought…why not make an evening of it?”
He considered it. "Hm...no ideas here. Can we discuss this over dinner?"
"I think we can do that."
-----
Comments? Critiques? Suggestions?
[ETA] You know how I whined in my last entry about my writing being too plain and how much I wanted to write me some flowery, shiny prose?
Well, now that it's 11:00 and I'm feeling inspired (damnit) the pretty speech is flowing like water. And I've got some nice lines all in order that just need to be strung into a coherent fic. Skipee-day.
I sleep now.
Sort of.
See, I've been trying to think of a way to finish the fic for weeks, and nothing's come to mind, nothing that doesn't sound exactly like the end of Horatio's section, anyway. I turn to you, my loverly flist, for suggestions. How should I wrap up this section? Should I just leave it where it is? Any help you could give would be invaluable.
And, as always, feel free to comment, critique, and grammatically nitpick as you see fit.
RL Note: I start work tomorrow. I am writing to distract myself from how incredibly nervous I am.
----
Marisol wasn’t sure whether or not she believed that he was thinking about his job. It was likely, yes – when wasn’t he thinking about his job? – but he didn’t have the same faraway look he got when his mind was on a case. Which was good, because it made her nervous when he got that look while driving.
He was also, whenever he looked at her, making a point of never glancing below her neck. She decided to suspend judgment.
Still, she knew she was making progress. She’d already made him laugh today, which on their earlier dates had taken the better part of the evening. Did she dare attempt a handhold? It would be her first order of business, once his hands were off the steering wheel.
With nothing much to say, Marisol turned to look out the window. It was a few hours yet before sunset, but already the sky in the east was a faded red and orange, a washed-out version of the colors in the west. She had always been captivated by sunsets; she remembered being very small and asking her mother where those colors came from, since she hadn’t seen them for the rest of the day. But it had been quite a while since she’d just stopped and watched one.
It took her a moment to notice that neither of them had spoken since they started driving, and that Horatio didn’t seem to mind her silence. She didn’t feel the need to fill the empty space with chitchat or lovely-weather pleasantries, or to ask him exactly what had happened at work, or to say anything, really. There’d be time enough to talk later, when she had something to talk about.
Time enough. Now there was a phrase she hadn’t used in a while.
No. She thought. No, no, no. You’re not thinking about that now. Not here.
But she found that she suddenly wanted to speak, to block out those old thoughts. “Do you want to do something after dinner?”
He looked at her very briefly before turning back to the road. “You have something in mind?”
“Not really.” She shrugged. “I just thought…why not make an evening of it?”
He considered it. "Hm...no ideas here. Can we discuss this over dinner?"
"I think we can do that."
Comments? Critiques? Suggestions?
[ETA] You know how I whined in my last entry about my writing being too plain and how much I wanted to write me some flowery, shiny prose?
Well, now that it's 11:00 and I'm feeling inspired (damnit) the pretty speech is flowing like water. And I've got some nice lines all in order that just need to be strung into a coherent fic. Skipee-day.
I sleep now.
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hey look, for once my icon is actually relevant to the subject matter!
*snickers*
I like this bit so far, especially the sunset and her thoughts on 'time enough,' but I feel like it could use a little more to reach a pause point. Even just Horatio's reaction to her suggestion, whether he names an idea of his own or not, would be good; and/or you could close on her reaction to coming up with that on the spur of the moment. Otherwise, unless chapter 3 picks up right where this one leaves off, it feels like we just walked away in the middle of a conversation.
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Also: flowery shiny prose FTW! Hope the first day of work goes all right. Where are you working, again?
Re: hey look, for once my icon is actually relevant to the subject matter!
The first day of work went very well, actually. I'm working in the Communications department of a nonprofit organization, and they put me right to work without too much orientation and whatnot.