stunt_muppet

I can tolerate a certain amount of bad science in CSI for the same reason that I can tolerate all the inaccurate legal and police procedure in Law and Order – it’s a TV show. It has to stay interesting. And good science or good legal procedure rarely make good TV. Thus, I try not to kick up a fuss about bad science. However, the BS present in “What Schemes May Come”s B-plot was so flagrant that I find I simply cannot suspend that much disbelief any longer.

 

I’m sorry, but the cloning thing? Growing a human ear on the back of a mouse? No. Just no. There’s about a million reasons why that’s not possible. For starters, an entire functional organ simply cannot be “grown” from a single human cell, particularly not in an adult animal. If that were the case, why couldn’t we spontaneously regenerate our own organs?

 

Also, whether or not a certain trait is displayed in an organism has a lot less to do with whether the DNA is there and a lot more to do with how that DNA is translated into functional proteins. Splicing a gene into a different organism may mean that certain extra proteins or compounds are made (such as insulin – I’m not sure if this is true anymore, but at some point that was where they got the insulin for diabetic people), but it doesn’t mean that a whole new trait or organ will be displayed. So, in conclusion, no. No points, NY. Try again.

 

Also, once we got to the flashbacks of how Coma Guy Hibernation Guy ended up that was, this plotline promptly lost what little credibility it had left. Did he seriously just reach over to the device pumping heavy metals into his bloodstream and just twist it like it was a shower knob or something? What, did he decide it wasn’t working fast enough? How dumb do you have to be?

 

There were only two good things to come out of the B-plot. One was Danny’s reaction to the mutant mouse. He had an excellent “wtf?” face in that scene, and when he got the scientist guy’s attention you just knew he was trying to think of a polite way to say “The hell is this thing?” I cannot speak about Mac and Danny’s conversation outside the lab, since I was shouting over that part in my Bio-student fury, so…yeah. On a related note, Danny was wearing a very nice T-shirt this week. Very nice indeed.

 

The other good part about the B-case was the Mac/Peyton interaction it brought with it. I had my doubts at first, but I’ve become fond of the romance between Mac and Peyton. It’s more complex and interesting than most of the other canon relationships in the franchise, especially since they’re both still working through the rough spots. There was still some unease between them, especially when Mac suspected Peyton might have incorrectly declared the victim dead, but that unease hasn’t killed their relationship. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for more mildly realistic relationships like this. What I wouldn’t give.

 

On that topic, how cute was it when Mac came barreling down the hallway trying to get to Peyton when (as it turns out) she only had a relatively small cut on her forehead? What with all the shoving he was doing I was kind of expecting, I dunno, arterial spray.

 

The A-plot was considerably better. For starters, I like how it turned out that the deaths were the result of a suicide pact rather than a murder. It’s different from what we usually see, and it’s kind of refreshing. I also find it much more moving than most of the homicides on the show, especially given the motivations for this particular suicide. Especially well done was Stella’s conversation with the survivor. I think the actress in question pulled off the woman’s grief and fear nicely, and I loved her line “At least you didn’t say you know what I’m going through.”  And I’m glad Stella didn’t – the scene would have been too preachy otherwise. Still, the look on her face in her reaction shot suggested she might have had a thing or two to say about it, what with her possibly facing a terminal illness herself. (Technically, is HIV a terminal illness, since you die from diseases that your weakened immune system can’t fight off but not from the virus itself? Confused. Must put terminology in order.)

 

Also, Flack! Flack, you exist again! Oh, it’s so good to have you back. Flack had lots of lines and lots of screen time this week. Standout moment for me: when he spots the marijuana in the doctor’s greenhouse and warns him about it – but doesn’t arrest him for possession. Or even confiscate the plant, for that matter. How decent of him.

 

Standout moment #2: Flack warning Mac about their suspect’s possible political pull (alliteration, whee!). My periodic missing of new NY means that I am not current on all the politics going on between Mac, Flack, and Flack’s captain (except for what I’ve gleaned from the lovely recappers here – thanks to you all), but I am glad that Flack offered Mac that “off-the-record” heads-up. He’s observant enough to know what’s going on, but careful enough to keep that advice between the two of them. I kind of hope that kid turns up again.

 

Standout moment #3: The “sugar = granulated tracking devices” line. Tee hee.

 

I must also say little about the closing scene, since someone came in looking for my roommate at precisely that moment and I was obligated to mute the TV (grumpyface). What I saw of it was well-played. I don’t think for a moment that Stella will be HIV positive (it’d be an interesting turn if she was, but I just don’t see the producers taking that kind of risk, and it would mean that Melina would eventually have to leave), but they’re doing a pretty good job with the plotline in the meanwhile. I’m fond especially of the way Stella’s handling all this. She’s clearly scared, but she hasn’t fallen apart; she confides in Mac but isn’t sobbing on his shoulder. Mac and Stella’s relationship has interested me for some time, and I like the way they’re interacting in the face of Stella’s crisis.

Doc Robbins freaking out about the rat in the lab was the best thing about this episode. I love his (rather shrill) cry of “KILL IT!” when it first gets out, I love how he breaks out the hazmat suit when he and Grissom are going after it, and I love his tirade about all the germs rats carry. Maybe I missed something from a previous episode, but this was a facet of Doc that I did not expect to see.

 

Favorite part, though? When the power flickers, and Grissom turns to Doc and says, very seriously, “I think he’s on to us.” Cue shrieks of delight.

 

And now the other lab rats. So, we’ve established by now that Hodges is Grissom’s creepy fanboy, right? Great thing is, both the writers and everyone else in the lab seems to know it, too. I think a lot of what made this episode so much fun was that it shamelessly played on our existing perceptions of Hodges. We know he’s weirdly obsessed with his boss and the black sheep of the lab, so why not have fun with it?

 

I mean, there was even a dig at the “Hodges is the MCSK” theory. And a rather funny one, might I add.

 

And then there was that montage. I…just…there was that montage. There was the “Hodges’ Lucky Day” montage. I don’t even know what to say about that. And I mean that in a good way. It was just so out-of-left-field and different from anything CSI’s ever thrown at me that I was reduced to giggles from all the “WTF”. Oh man. I don’t think I’d look forward to seeing anything like it ever again, but just done that once, it was a beautiful thing.

 

The other lab rats certainly deserve a mention, too, since they were very enjoyable in this episode even if I could not for the life of me remember their names (this is common to all of CSI; the only labtech whose name I can ever remember is Valera). Cute Asian Lab Rat calling Hodges “glory whore” as he bowed out was probably my favorite moment out of all the lab rat antics (labrantics?), but I was also amused at their “kids-with-their-hands-in-the-cookie-jar” faces whenever one of the CSIs walked in. Immature and out of place? Probably. But funny nonetheless.

 

I was disappointed that this ended up being mostly a clip show, recapping us on the MCSK arc in case we’d forgotten. I haven’t been here for the whole thing, but as far as I’m concerned that’s what fanboards, CSI Files (not Talk), and Wikipedia are for. Still, I eat up anything MCSK-related like candy, so I didn’t really mind. The camera-panning-through-the-miniatures shots still capture my attention, and Ernie Dell’s confession creeps me out even like the fifth time I watch it. Speaking of that, the scene of Hodges ‘walking’ through the miniature – and Grissom’s “This had better be good, David.” – were yet more Amusing Moments. But, back on topic, I’m a little dejected that we got one new clue to the killer’s identity and motivations after an entire episode. However, I think it was worth it to make an episode this entertaining.