![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
One of the reasons that I love hanging around in malls is that they allow you to experience the terrifying nadir of human fashion sense. It at once makes me feel better about myself (no matter how dumpy and blah I look, at least I'm not wearing a denim onesie) and tempts me to fall on my knees in public and pray for the instant eradication of every single pair of neon footless tights from the face of the Earth.
Seriously, do people not see how ugly their outfits are? How can you put on a pair of neon pink footless tights, look at yourself in the mirror, and not see that the lower half of your body, no matter how thin your thighs and toned your calves, looks like some sort of carnival zeppelin? Or, hell, even aside from making your legs look fat, there's also the point that you look like you're about to break out into the Crayola mating dance.
I have issues with footless tights in general, despite my mother's repeated attempts to get me to wear them, but black footless tights I can forgive. Neon? Neon pants shouldn't exist, y'all. Neon footless tights are compounding abomination unto abomination.
Anyway. Yes. Was not nearly as productive today as I intended to be, but I at least picked up my dress and got myself shapewear, thus officially completing the Bridesmaid's Dress checklist. I am very, very thankful that I haven't dove in to the wide world of shapewear beforehand, y'all. It's not comfortable, it makes my skin all sweaty, and it makes me feel a bit like a robot, since I have to either squat or bend exactly at the waist. Alas, satin is a harsh mistress, so a tummy-tugger it is for me.
I can't help but realize that I used to take long, leisurely mall trips. I'd head to the mall with a friend and make a day of it, popping in stores and trying things on at whim, usually not buying anything but having fun nonethelessbecause I am a stereotype, yes. Lately my shopping trips have been too focused - get in, find what I need, spend two hours dithering over it, and go. I miss the old shopping trips. Shall have to organize another one.
I keep trying to remind myself that I need to do my Chem work, and that if I don't I will hate myself on Sunday, and fic writing can wait. And then I go back to writing fic anyway. Maybe disconnecting the Internet for a bit will help, giving me less reason to be at the computer in the first place? I don't know.
Hmm.
[ETA] R.I.P. Paul Newman.
Seriously, do people not see how ugly their outfits are? How can you put on a pair of neon pink footless tights, look at yourself in the mirror, and not see that the lower half of your body, no matter how thin your thighs and toned your calves, looks like some sort of carnival zeppelin? Or, hell, even aside from making your legs look fat, there's also the point that you look like you're about to break out into the Crayola mating dance.
I have issues with footless tights in general, despite my mother's repeated attempts to get me to wear them, but black footless tights I can forgive. Neon? Neon pants shouldn't exist, y'all. Neon footless tights are compounding abomination unto abomination.
Anyway. Yes. Was not nearly as productive today as I intended to be, but I at least picked up my dress and got myself shapewear, thus officially completing the Bridesmaid's Dress checklist. I am very, very thankful that I haven't dove in to the wide world of shapewear beforehand, y'all. It's not comfortable, it makes my skin all sweaty, and it makes me feel a bit like a robot, since I have to either squat or bend exactly at the waist. Alas, satin is a harsh mistress, so a tummy-tugger it is for me.
I can't help but realize that I used to take long, leisurely mall trips. I'd head to the mall with a friend and make a day of it, popping in stores and trying things on at whim, usually not buying anything but having fun nonetheless
I keep trying to remind myself that I need to do my Chem work, and that if I don't I will hate myself on Sunday, and fic writing can wait. And then I go back to writing fic anyway. Maybe disconnecting the Internet for a bit will help, giving me less reason to be at the computer in the first place? I don't know.
Hmm.
[ETA] R.I.P. Paul Newman.
bored
(no subject)
(no subject)
But they're not nearly as bad as neon wide-legs, though.
(no subject)
...
i've worn neon pink tights before. with black stripes on them. complete with an itty black skirt with a skull-and-crossbones buckle. :/
I REGRET NOTHING.
(no subject)
(no subject)
I worked that tablecloth shirt. Worked it. Conventional rules of fashion don't apply to me. I incinerate those rules with my AURA OF AWESOMENESS.
(no subject)
That said, I am not surprised that you can bend the laws of fashion to suit your will. Ugly shirts become quirky and stylish by mere virtue of being worn by a fabulous and avant-garde fasionista such as yourself. :D
(no subject)
Also, congratulations. I think you are the first person on the internet to use the phrase "Crayola mating dance" and that makes you awesome.
(no subject)
Or actually hoping to attract markers.(no subject)
Come to think of it, I had a pair of bright green tights too. I even wore them as normal with a black skirt a few times (I was young a foolish, shush). Then I had the idea to layer black lace tights over the green-- a much more interesting effect and made my legs look less frog-like.
(no subject)
And I actually really like the idea of wearing green tights with black lace, because it not only breaks up the color field but...makes it look like you're doing it on purpose? I'm not sure if that's the right way to put it, but it's the difference between dressing outre (because you want to and you know it's different) and dressing badly (because you honestly can't tell).
But hey, while we're confessing things, I used to wear hugely oversized tees and black bike shorts and call that an outfit. Guilty as sin, I tell ya.
(no subject)
Footless tights (or leggings as they always used to be called) are, IMO, a fashion abomination which should have remained buried in the eighties. And I'm saying that having worn them myself back in the day! They flatter no one. And I really can't understand this current trend for wearing them with shorts. ::despairs::
(no subject)
Apparently, a whole lot of the eighties fashion is coming back. Why, precisely, is beyond my comprehension.
(no subject)
then omg wtf Paul Newman?!
(no subject)
(no subject)
May I quote that in one of my novels?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
Seriously. Overalls? Corduroy overalls?! I wore a pair of black corduroy overalls when I was in the fifth grade and it wasn't okay even then. I was just messed up.
Here's a gem for you: I saw a pair of denim overalls that ended in *shorts*. With yellow leggings on underneath. I can't make this shit up.
Now, here's a sooper dooper sekrit: I own a pair of leggings (pause for the shock and horror) but! I only wear them under shorts when I'm going to the gym and I haven't shaved my legs in ages.
Miss you!
(no subject)
Confession: I'm pretty sure I did the same thing. And I'm positive I have overall shorts still stuck in the back of my closet someplace, though I retained enough good sense not to wear them with leggings of any sort.
BUT STILL. That doesn't make it okay. I think overalls are one of those garments that should only be worn ironically, and even that's pushing it.
Also, I might even adopt your tights strategy, since that's very handy and could potentially save me time in the mornings. Besides, wearing leggings under shorts for a sensible reason =/= wearing banana-yellow monstrosities in lieu of trousers.
I MISS YOU TOO. I have been very, very bad about being in contact with much of anyone lately, and this week has been kind of kicking my ass, but I must talk to you soon. My world is a dark and lonesome place without you.
I could be wrong, but I thought you needed to see this immediately.
Re: I could be wrong, but I thought you needed to see this immediately.
*giggles* I will never tire of simplifying classic texts for the sake of parody, no.