stunt_muppet

pixxistixx4me(a.k.a. my enabler) and Cain have been planning for months to goth me up – a plan I fully cooperated with, because for the longest time I wanted to dress goth if not necessarily act goth. We finally got around to doing it this Saturday, in an almost-all-day shopping extravaganza that left me with six suitable items of clothing and three outfits planned and ready to go.

We didn’t get to Hot Topic until nearly the end, because Hot Topic has acquired the reputation of being the home of the wannabe goth/emo teenager (i.e. myself), but when we got there, I found a pair of boots that I absolutely had to own.

I may not have yet said this, but I love boots, especially high-heeled boots. I rarely wear them, because they make my stumpy little legs look even stumpier, but I’ve always really wanted a pair of tall, high-heeled, knee-high ridiculous boots. They make me taller, and they carry an air of confidence, power, and, yes, sexiness.

Staring me in the face – and on the sale rack! – were a set of knee-high boots. They had one-inch platforms and four-inch heels. They were folded over at the top in a very pirate-like manner. They had lacing down the sides. They were my size. They were fabulous.

I had to own them. I wasn’t sure what I’d wear them to if I ever did, but I needed to own them. 

In addition to the boots, I also obtained the beginnings of a goth wardrobe:

- A black, lacy, empire-waisted shirt, good for a kind of softcore gothic-lolita look (and yet not too out-there to wear to work or school).
- A regular black shirt with frilly sleeves, to be worn with a wide white belt around the waist (see above – not too extreme and could be worn elsewhere).
- A white T-shirt with a pattern of a Piet Mondrian painting on the front (making my inner art geek extremely happy)
- Loose but not huge black pants, with several straps and buckles and other doodads on it for placement of chains.
- Black pinstriped capris, with zippered lower legs and front buckles.

Combined with items I already owned, these formed at least three distinct outfits:

- “The Disaffected Art Student”: Piet Mondrian shirt, loose buckly pants, rummage-sale combat boot-style high heels, black jacket, dissatisfied scowl.
- “The Almost-Professional-if-it-Weren’t-All-Black Wannabe-Lolita”: Lacy top, pinstriped pants, black wedge heels.
- “The I Will Probably Never Wear This In Public but What the Hell”: Frilly-sleeves black shirt, pink-and-black pleated plaid miniskirt, knee-high boots.

We decided to wait till next time to do hair, makeup, jewelry, and other trinkets. I will not be getting my hair dyed because even washable dye never comes out of my hair, although my uncle promised he would paint his mostly-bald scalp purple if I dyed my hair likewise.

My parents (including my mother, who is constantly telling me to loosen up) found this whole idea very amusing, and declared that they wanted to see me in my gothic attire when I got back. I was still excited about my fabulous boots at the time, and I (perhaps unwisely) decided to show them the last outfit on the list first.

The sight of my boots caused my mother, who had previously endorsed the whole gothification project, to have a Class C Freakout. Questions/statements such as “Why did you get those?” “Do you know what people will think of you when you wear those?” and “Those boots make you look like a hooker” came up.

I shot back that she had given me permission to do this, that the boots were on sale anyway so it wasn’t like I’d wasted a whole bunch of money, and that she was always lamenting that she dressed younger than I did, so what was she so upset about? This was me, loosening up. And I wasn’t going to wear the boots to work or strut about downtown with them; buying the boots had not made me stupid. It was for fun.

My dad, who was on my side in this argument and was not having a freakout, noted that it would have looked better if the boots had more material folded over, so they’d look more pirate-like. A combination of my mother’s and father’s reactions led to me christening my purchase the Dirty Pirate Hooker boots.

I quickly changed out of the boots and donned the Disaffected Art Student and Almost-Professional outfits, which everyone thought looked quite nice except for my mom, who paled when I mentioned buying chains for my pants. “I didn’t know you were going to be wearing chains,” she said.

“Um…yeah. That’s how you make do-it-yourself goth pants, Mom.”

“That’s what the look is, dear,” Dad chimed in.

“I thought you were just going to be wearing, like, dark clothes and stuff,” Mom said in a small voice.

“These are dark clothes, Mom. Trust me, this is not as extreme as it could be. This is pretty tame. And I haven’t even started with the jewelry yet. I didn’t come in with a spike collar.”

“I’m going to buy you some barbed wire,” said Dad. “For a necklace and everything.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt? And no spike collars, please.”

“It’s not real barbed wire, dear.”

“And I’m not going to get a spike collar, don’t worry. I’ll probably get a bracelet with pyramid studs, though.”

Mom turned pale again. She then launched into a lecture about “the kind of people I’d attract when I wore that”, and how I was too naïve to be walking around in goth clothes because I didn’t know the reaction I’d get and what people thought of me, etc. Dad, Uncle, and I all rolled our eyes at each other and pestered her about how she’d told me to loosen up.

I think she’s still a little shaken by that, but so long as I don’t go stomping around in the Dirty Pirate Hooker boots for a while she’ll cool off.

I may be spamming you all with pictures of the outfits later, though, because I find them all quite fabulous. And I actually don’t make a bad goth. XD