stunt_muppet

Alex/Greg? Hmm. Never read it, since House/CI crossovers are few and far between, but I think it would be interesting. I don’t know how House would deal with someone who was completely unwilling to take any crap from him, and I think Alex would be more than capable of handling Greg after keeping a leash on Bobby.

 

Um, yeah. Is that even really a question? Even with that awful porn ‘stache he looked pretty good.

 

Um…not biologically possible, so I’ll not be answering that. kthxbye.

 

I point you to Stellaluna’s and Laguera’s work. Read them. Enjoy them.

I’m sure there’s more, but I’ve only recently begun poking around outside the Stellaluna/Laguera bubble, so check back with me later.

 

(Ed and Alex) …Maybe. Both cops, both with a snide sense of humor, and…well, Ed is rather charming. And Alex is in need of a slightly more solid relationship. I could see it working.

 

(Horatio/Flack or Horatio/Calleigh) Oh, Horatio/Calleigh, definitely. Granted, in a non-slashy context, I would like to see Horatio and Flack interact. I think they’d have a rapport similar to the one Horatio and Frank or Mac and Flack already have.

 

But Five/Ten is DuCaine. And that takes precedence over a crossover. Sorry. 

(Jack walks in on Ed and Catherine having sex) Hm. Jack would probably just roll his eyes and walk out. I don’t think it would actually bother him that much, although it might irritate him if they were having sex in a room he needed to use. Ed and Cath would probably be embarrassed, but not scarred for life or anything. I think one or both of them would end up levelly saying “Get out.”

(John/Calleigh) That might actually be too creepy to contemplate, but I’ll give it a shot…

 

Calleigh travels up to New York to pursue a rape and double-murder suspect, and ends up running ballistics (her specialty) with Special Victims. Cal and John end up working the case together.

 

This case comes after Calleigh has had another argument/conflict with Jake, and has put up with all manner of snide remarks from Eric about it. And that’s just emphasized something she’s known all along – she’s spent so much time dating stupid little boys and their stupid little egos. Even the nice guys she dates have that problem. Maybe its time she started exploring other options, even if the “other option” in question is old enough to be her father. Besides, a relationship with John would end once she left New York, simply and cleanly. She’d have planned it that way; it wouldn’t just be the latest in the long string of failures that’s clung to her.

 

John, for his part, is wondering if a commitment-free, no-expectations relationship might not be worth considering, since every time he’s entered into a committed relationship he’s been let down. Maybe a short-term thing that will end as soon as Calleigh goes back home will be good for him.

 

Of course it won’t. Issues ensue.   

Um…not that I’ve seen. Though that would be, er…interesting. Wilson might benefit from a relationship with someone less needy and obnoxious than the previous wives we’ve seen.

(Jack/Catherine) Hm…Before Jack moves in to the DA’s office, he decided to take a week to himself in Las Vegas – the last such vacation he’s likely to get. Yes, it’s not something he’s done before. Yes, Vegas has never been to his taste. But he’s tired, and he’s not looking forward to this new job, and right now he just wants to get as far away from New York as he can.

 

Jack and Catherine sit down at the same bar, via one of those astonishing fanfic coincidences. Catherine’s had a bad day, Jack’s had a bad day, and the two get to talking over drinks.

 

Of course, the conversation takes a more serious turn; both have guilty consciences over all the people they’ve screwed over to get where they are today. Now that Jack’s about to become DA, Diana and Claire and all those others are weighing heavy on his mind; Catherine is worried about the damage that her career has done to her daughter, and how she turned her back on her teammates during Keppler’s tenure.

Would this even really count as a hurt/comfort fic? They’re both hurting, and nobody’s really doing any comforting. I kind of want to write it now, though.

 

Oh. Right. Title. Um…maybe “And I Thank You All”, because they’re both acknowledging the wrong they think they’ve done to others?

(Nick and Wilson) I’m not sure I’d want that at all, though what I find the funniest of all is the proposition that a man with all those ex-wives would be a virgin. Hee.

(Jack slash) Yep.

(John het) Also yep.

(House) …you know, I don’t think anybody on my flist does. That’s odd. No House writers. I should go poke around some of the fic communities.

(Ed/Nick/Horatio) I really, really don’t think they would, given that I don’t know anybody who’s an active writer in all three fandoms. Not to mention I cannot think of even a vaguely possible way for that to occur, unless all three were extremely intoxicated.

 

That’d make for an interesting morning-after, though…

(Calleigh) “Lock and load, baby! Woohoo!” XD Oh, take a look at “Kill Zone” and its ilk and tell me Cal’s not a little bit of a gun fetishist.

(Casey) I’ve never thought of Casey’s character as lending itself to a songfic. But…hmm. Something jazzy, offbeat, lively. Something with character. Can’t think of anything at the moment, though.

(Wilson/Alex/Catherine) Innuendo, sarcasm, bitch!Wilson. Against Alex and Cath, he stands no chance. XD

(Ed and Calleigh) “Could you do me a favor and find me a name to go with these shell casings, miss?” “Well, since you just asked so nicely…”

(Horatio) Ah, more recently than I’d like to admit. I think it was a couple of weeks ago; I was rereading “Fable and Fantasy”, which I swear I’m actually going to review one of these days. I’m such a slacker reader. >__<

(Alex) Roleplay; she loves playing the damsel in distress. What? Sometimes she gets sick of being the capable, hard-hitting detective. Sometimes she likes to be rescued.

 

Does it make me a bad person that, in preparation for this question, I actually sat down and thought of a super-seekrit kink for everyone on that list up there? Some of them were pretty interesting.

(Would Greg House shag Flack?) Well, Greg would; he’d do it stone cold sober, too (or at least as sober as he ever gets), especially if he thought it would get on Flack’s nerves. Flack is rather pretty, after all. But I don’t think Flack would be very receptive to that idea. I think he’s just a touch pickier about who he sleeps with (and I care not a whit for what TPTB have to say about that).

Jack. He’s used to it, I think – used to being in the dominant position, used to being in charge. And I don’t think John would care enough to object.

 

And now, garcon? *clap* Fetch me my brain bleach. Chop chop.

 

(One = Wilson. Nine = Flack. Four = Nick. Eleven = Greg. Twelve = Catherine. Five = Horatio. Three = John)

 

Well now. Let’s see if I can make this make any sense.

 

“Wilson and Flack are in a happy relationship until Flack realizes that, while he likes Wilson well enough, the constant, abrasive presence of Greg House is more than he can deal with. He gets out of the relationship and takes up with Nick, who is much better-adjusted and doesn’t have a hostile roommate. Wilson, wondering if there’s a reason that House seems to be the longest relationship he’s had with a man, has a one-night stand with him, only to realize that he’d rather have House as a friend than a lover – and he’s not crazy about seeing him naked. Still confused, Wilson wonders if four divorces and no successful relationships with a woman really do mean that he’s gay. He embarks on a breif unhappy affair with Catherine, who finds that, while he’s better than most of the other guys she’s dated, he also has all kinds of issues she doesn’t feel like dealing with (oh, and he really is gay), so she breaks it off. Wilson hangs about in relationship limbo until Horatio offers him some advice: stop analyzing what has and hasn’t worked. Find someone right for him. In spite of the fact that he’s following the advice of the man with the worst romantic track record in recorded history, Wilson follows this advice straight to someone he actually has something in common with – another Jewish multiple-divorcee named John.

 

That didn’t make a square inch of sense, but okay.  

 Erm…”Attachments and Calculations”. Look, it never said it had to be a good title.

26. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?