stunt_muppet

Of sails and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings…I’M DONE NOW.

 

This has been a good movie month, all in all. Now that I actually have to pay for my own film ticket, I find myself going to the movies a whole lot less than I used to, so I try to make sure that whatever I go see is something I’ll really, really like. Breach was, in this regard, a good choice. If it’s still running in theaters where y’all are, I highly recommend going to go see it. Chris Cooper is incredible, and his performance as Hansen is subtle and perplexing. He makes this guy so hard to read. Also, how have I gone this far in my moviegoing life without realizing how great Laura Linney is? Truly an actress I’d like to see more of.

 

I have also, at long last, seen Casino Royale, which I’ve been wanting to see ever since I knew it was being made. And WOAH. Why couldn’t they have made Bond movies this good sooner? I mean, they managed to make a *poker game* exciting. Not easy to do. And Vesper actually had a character and wasn’t just picturesque Bond arm candy (although she was very pretty despite an overabundance of eyeshadow). Factor in Judi Dench as M and a Bond that seems like he might actually be a human being (instead of a tux-clad Terminator), subtract any space death lasers that kept cropping up in the last few movies, and OH MAN. I’m actually excited about the Bond franchise again.

 

Third movie of the round was Kiss of Death, which was better than I expected. In convenient numbered form, my reactions to it were thus:

 

1. Katherine Erbe is like sixteen years old. What.

2. David Caruso is like not fifty. Also what.

3. Crazy Gary Oldman, you may have some competition. His name is Crazy Nicholas Cage. I mean, I think a character who bench-presses strippers, works through his grief by jumping up and down, and thoughtfully brings a poncho to protect his clothing when he goes to beat someone’s face in deserves a few points.

4. On that note, I think I’m going to start asking people if they’ve thought of a more positive acronym for themselves. I love that line SO MUCH.

5. zomghowcuteiscorrina.

6. Speaking of Corrina, that thing late in the movie? Where they find her in the woods and she had BAD written on her forehead? That was way too creepy. It certainly doesn’t help that she cooed “I wanna be with my moooooommy” in her very best Demon Child voice.

7. David is deprived of shirt no less than four times. I approve.

8. Also, his hair was really, really red in this movie. I kind of expected Ving Rhames to attack it or something.

9. Samuel L. Jackson still wins at everything. Just the way he pronounced “po-LICE” in that last line made me giggle.

10. Also, when Crazy Nicholas Cage orders that guy who’s been groping the strippers up on stage? That alone was worth the price of admission.

 

So, in conclusion, good movie. I think that was time well spent.

 

This seems like a good time to transition into the two points of Miami blather I wish to go into. Here there be spoilers, so watch yourself.

 

The first point is brief. After looking at this interview on CSI Files, I have only one thing to say:

 

See? See, writers? ADAM RODRIGUEZ DOESN’T LIKE IT EITHER. So there. *sulk*

 

Next point: Upon viewing of this spoiler, I must say I am conflicted. There is a part of me that wants to slap my forehead, roll my eyes, and yell “Again?”

 

See, I’m becoming just a mite irritated with all the personal endangerment and injury and zomgcrises! in this fifth season. Going Under, Darkroom, Internal Affairs, Throwing Heat – heck, No Man’s Land and Man Down fall under that category too, and I liked those. And while I appreciate that this kind of thing can lead to some awesome episodes, replete with interpersonal relationships, character-development and a healthy dose of angst, I kind of wish that they weren’t doing all this character endangerment all at once. What, can you not think of a way to develop a character or write a good episode without placing somebody in grave danger? It is possible, you know. You’ve done it before. Why do you think Freaks and Tweaks is my favorite episode? Also, crises like these are only effective if they don’t happen all the time. Otherwise, it just makes the characters look invincible. “Yep. Survived that trauma, what’s next?”

 

Y’know how people complain about Miami being populated with bulletproof freaking ninjas? THIS IS WHY.

 

However, my inner Grumpy Fan is quickly being drowned out by my inner Spastic Fantard, who is trying to see how loud she can squee.

 

DUDE. Plane crash. And H is on that plane. This could go in so many awesome directions, and out of all the possibilities that are cropping up in my mind, I’m trying to decide which one I like more. (Also, he is not going to die, so stop handwringing.)

 

I think, so far, my favorite scenario is the one that involves a sequence a la the pilot episode of Lost. That is, Horatio wakes up in the crash site and immediately takes charge, starts pulling people out, calling 911, bandaging up whoever needs it, etc. And then realizes “…I seem to be bleeding. Should get that looked at.”

 

My second-favorite is also the least plausible one, and the one that no one with any knowledge of demographic marketing would ever include in any episode of CSI: Miami. It involves unconscious Horatio, seeing Mari in a comatose dream. Heartfelt conversations ensue. And if this sounds exactly like what happened in Mr. Monk and the Cobra, well, that’s because it would be. But hey, I don’t think that’s a bad thing, since MMatC is one of the very few episodes of any TV show ever that has made me cry. Never going to happen, and way too cheesy to put in fanfic form and expect to be taken seriously, but oh, those happy daydreams.

 

All the other happy possibilities I can think of involve awkward bearhugs from someone in the team and/or hour after hour of smoldering URT between Horatio and Yelina (or Calleigh. I do not object to that possibility).

 

I think the Squee side is wining. Inner Cynic, you are rapidly losing ground. :)