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stunt_muppet at 12:35am on 20/09/2009 under memes, methinks it's loltastic, randomness, tv
stunt_muppet at 12:35am on 20/09/2009 under memes, methinks it's loltastic, randomness, tvFor one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six: a quotation
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy
So I recently installed the Firefox plugin "Bork Bork Bork!" which, in truth, was the primary reason I installed Firefox at all. Because this plugin can translate any text on your clipboard into Fake Swedish, and I am almost endlessly amused by it.
So, for sharing today: "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", as read by Swedish Chef.
---
Let us gu zeen, yuoo und I,
Vhee zee ifeneeng is spreed oooot egeeenst zee sky
Leeke-a a petient izeereezed upun a teble-a;
Let us gu, thruoogh certeeen helff-deserted streets,
Zee moottereeng retreets
Ooff restless neeghts in oone-a-neeght cheep hutels
Und sevdoost restoorunts veet ooyster-shells:
Streets thet fulloo leeke-a a tedeeuoos ergooment
Ooff inseediuoos intent
Tu leed yuoo tu un oofervhelmeeng qooesshun…
Ooh, du nut esk, "Vhet is it?"
Let us gu und meke-a oooor feesit.
In zee ruum zee vumee cume-a und gu
Telkeeng ooff Meechelungelu.
Zee yelloo fug thet roobs its beck upun zee veendoo-punes,
Zee yelloo smuke-a thet roobs its moozzle-a oon zee veendoo-punes
Leecked its tungooe-a intu zee curners ooff zee ifeneeng,
Leengered upun zee puuls thet stund in dreeens,
Let fell upun its beck zee suut thet fells frum cheemneys,
Sleepped by zee terrece-a, mede-a a sooddee leep,
Und seeeeng thet it ves a sufft Ooctuber neeght,
Coorled oonce-a ebooot zee huoose-a, und fell esleep.
Und indeed zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Fur zee yelloo smuke-a thet sleedes elung zee street,
Roobbeeng its beck upun zee veendoo-punes;
Zeere-a veell be-a time-a, zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Tu prepere-a a fece-a tu meet zee feces thet yuoo meet;
Zeere-a veell be-a time-a tu moorder und creete-a,
Und time-a fur ell zee vurks und deys ooff hunds
Thet leefft und drup a qooesshun oon yuoor plete-a;
time-a fur yuoo und time-a fur me-a,
Und time-a yet fur a hoondred indeceesiuns,
Und fur a hoondred feesiuns und refeesiuns,
Beffure-a zee tekeeng ooff a tuest und tea.
In zee ruum zee vumee cume-a und gu
Telkeeng ooff Meechelungelu.
Und indeed zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Tu vunder, "Du I dere-a?" und, "Du I dere-a?"
time-a tu toorn beck und descend zee steur,
Veet a beld sput in zee meeddle-a ooff my heur—
[Zeey veell sey: "Hoo hees heur is grooeeng theen!"]
My murneeng cuet, my culler muoonting furmly tu zee cheen,
My necktie-a reech und mudest, boot esserted by a seemple-a peen—
[Zeey veell sey: "Boot hoo hees erms und legs ere-a theen!"]
Du I dere-a
Deestoorb zee uneeferse-a?
In a meenoote-a zeere-a is time-a
Fur deceesiuns und refeesiuns vheech a meenoote-a veell referse-a.
Fur I hefe-a knoon zeem ell elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Hefe-a knoon zee ifeneengs, murneengs, effternuuns,
I hefe-a meesoored oooot my leeffe-a veet cuffffee-a spuuns;
I knoo zee fueeces dyeeng veet a dyeeng fell
Beneet zee mooseec frum a ferzeer ruum.
Su hoo shuoold I presoome-a?
Und I hefe-a knoon zee iyes elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Zee iyes thet feex yuoo in a furmooleted phrese-a,
Und vhee I em furmooleted, sprevleeng oon a peen,
Vhee I em peenned und vreeggling oon zee vell,
Zeen hoo shuoold I begeen
Tu speet oooot ell zee boott-eeds ooff my deys und veys?
Und hoo shuoold I presoome-a?
Und I hefe-a knoon zee erms elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Erms thet ere-a breceleted und vheete-a und bere-a
[Boot in zee lempleeght, dooned veet leeght broon heur!]
Is it perffoome-a frum a dress
Thet mekes me-a su deegress?
Erms thet leee-a elung a teble-a, oor vrep ebooot a shevl.
Und shuoold I zeen presoome-a?
Und hoo shuoold I begeen?
Shell I sey, I hefe-a gune-a et doosk thruoogh nerroo streets
Und vetched zee smuke-a thet reeses frum zee peepes
Ooff lunely mee in shurt-sleefes, leuneeng oooot ooff veendoos? …
I shuoold hefe-a beee a peur ooff regged clevs
Scoottleeng ecruss zee fluurs ooff seelent sees.
Und zee effternuun, zee ifeneeng, sleeps su peeceffoolly!
Smuuzeed by lung feengers,
Esleep… tired… oor it meleengers,
Stretched oon zee fluur, here-a beseede-a yuoo und me-a.
Shuoold I, effter tea und cekes und ices,
Hefe-a zee strengt tu furce-a zee mument tu its creesis?
Boot thuoogh I hefe-a vept und fested, vept und preyed,
Thuoogh I hefe-a seee my heed [groon sleeghtly beld] bruooght in upun a pletter,
I em nu pruphet—und here's nu greet metter;
I hefe-a seee zee mument ooff my greetness fleecker,
Und I hefe-a seee zee iternel Fuutmun huld my cuet, und sneecker,
Und in shurt, I ves effreeed.
Und vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt it, effter ell,
Effter zee coops, zee mermelede-a, zee tea,
Emung zee purceleeen, emung sume-a telk ooff yuoo und me-a,
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a,
Tu hefe-a beettee ooffff zee metter veet a smeele-a,
Tu hefe-a sqooeezed zee uneeferse-a intu a bell
Tu rull it tooerd sume-a oofervhelmeeng qooesshun,
Tu sey: "I em Lezeroos, cume-a frum zee deed,
Cume-a beck tu tell yuoo ell, I shell tell yuoo ell"—
Iff oone-a, settleeng a peelloo by her heed,
Shuoold sey: "Thet is nut vhet I meunt et ell.
Thet is nut it, et ell."
Und vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt it, effter ell,
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a,
Effter zee soonsets und zee duuryerds und zee spreenkled streets,
Effter zee nufels, effter zee teecoops, effter zee skurts thet treeel elung zee fluur—
Und thees, und su mooch mure-a?—
It is impusseeble-a tu sey joost vhet I meun!
Boot es iff a megeec luntern throo zee nerfes in petterns oon a screee:
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a
Iff oone-a, settleeng a peelloo oor throoeeng ooffff a shevl,
Und toorneeng tooerd zee veendoo, shuoold sey:
"Thet is nut it et ell,
Thet is nut vhet I meunt, et ell."
. . . . .
Nu! I em nut Preence-a Hemlet, nur ves meunt tu be-a;
Em un ettendunt lurd, oone-a thet veell du
Tu svell a prugress, stert a scene-a oor tvu,
Edfeese-a zee preence-a; nu duoobt, un iesy tuul,
Defferentiel, gled tu be-a ooff use-a,
Puleetic, cootiooos, und meticooluoos;
Fooll ooff heegh sentence-a, boot a beet oobtoose-a;
Et times, indeed, elmust reedicooluoos—
Elmust, et times, zee Fuul.
I groo oold… I groo oold…
I shell veer zee bottums ooff my truoosers rulled.
Shell I pert my heur beheend? Du I dere-a tu iet a peech?
I shell veer vheete-a flunnel truoosers, und velk upun zee beech.
I hefe-a heerd zee mermeeeds seenging, iech tu iech.
I du nut theenk thet zeey veell seeng tu me-a.
I hefe-a seee zeem reeding seeverd oon zee vefes
Cumbeeng zee vheete-a heur ooff zee vefes bloon beck
Vhee zee veend bloos zee veter vheete-a und bleck.
Ve-a hefe-a leengered in zee chembers ooff zee sea
By sea-gurls vreezeed veet seeveed red und broon
till hoomun fueeces veke-a us, und ve-a droon.
---
And yet, in retrospect, the thought of Swedish Chef having existential Modernist angst is almost unbearably depressing. Here, have some real Swedish Chef to cheer you up:
And now I'm going to try writing hour!fic again. Ta.
[ETA} But before I do that, I've just read that apparently there's a bit in Supernatural where Castiel tells Dean (which one's he, again?) , in a completely serious voice, that "God was not on a tortilla in Mexico".
DAMMIT SHOW STOP TEMPTING ME TO WATCH YOU.
Day seven: whatever tickles your fancy
So I recently installed the Firefox plugin "Bork Bork Bork!" which, in truth, was the primary reason I installed Firefox at all. Because this plugin can translate any text on your clipboard into Fake Swedish, and I am almost endlessly amused by it.
So, for sharing today: "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", as read by Swedish Chef.
---
Let us gu zeen, yuoo und I,
Vhee zee ifeneeng is spreed oooot egeeenst zee sky
Leeke-a a petient izeereezed upun a teble-a;
Let us gu, thruoogh certeeen helff-deserted streets,
Zee moottereeng retreets
Ooff restless neeghts in oone-a-neeght cheep hutels
Und sevdoost restoorunts veet ooyster-shells:
Streets thet fulloo leeke-a a tedeeuoos ergooment
Ooff inseediuoos intent
Tu leed yuoo tu un oofervhelmeeng qooesshun…
Ooh, du nut esk, "Vhet is it?"
Let us gu und meke-a oooor feesit.
In zee ruum zee vumee cume-a und gu
Telkeeng ooff Meechelungelu.
Zee yelloo fug thet roobs its beck upun zee veendoo-punes,
Zee yelloo smuke-a thet roobs its moozzle-a oon zee veendoo-punes
Leecked its tungooe-a intu zee curners ooff zee ifeneeng,
Leengered upun zee puuls thet stund in dreeens,
Let fell upun its beck zee suut thet fells frum cheemneys,
Sleepped by zee terrece-a, mede-a a sooddee leep,
Und seeeeng thet it ves a sufft Ooctuber neeght,
Coorled oonce-a ebooot zee huoose-a, und fell esleep.
Und indeed zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Fur zee yelloo smuke-a thet sleedes elung zee street,
Roobbeeng its beck upun zee veendoo-punes;
Zeere-a veell be-a time-a, zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Tu prepere-a a fece-a tu meet zee feces thet yuoo meet;
Zeere-a veell be-a time-a tu moorder und creete-a,
Und time-a fur ell zee vurks und deys ooff hunds
Thet leefft und drup a qooesshun oon yuoor plete-a;
time-a fur yuoo und time-a fur me-a,
Und time-a yet fur a hoondred indeceesiuns,
Und fur a hoondred feesiuns und refeesiuns,
Beffure-a zee tekeeng ooff a tuest und tea.
In zee ruum zee vumee cume-a und gu
Telkeeng ooff Meechelungelu.
Und indeed zeere-a veell be-a time-a
Tu vunder, "Du I dere-a?" und, "Du I dere-a?"
time-a tu toorn beck und descend zee steur,
Veet a beld sput in zee meeddle-a ooff my heur—
[Zeey veell sey: "Hoo hees heur is grooeeng theen!"]
My murneeng cuet, my culler muoonting furmly tu zee cheen,
My necktie-a reech und mudest, boot esserted by a seemple-a peen—
[Zeey veell sey: "Boot hoo hees erms und legs ere-a theen!"]
Du I dere-a
Deestoorb zee uneeferse-a?
In a meenoote-a zeere-a is time-a
Fur deceesiuns und refeesiuns vheech a meenoote-a veell referse-a.
Fur I hefe-a knoon zeem ell elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Hefe-a knoon zee ifeneengs, murneengs, effternuuns,
I hefe-a meesoored oooot my leeffe-a veet cuffffee-a spuuns;
I knoo zee fueeces dyeeng veet a dyeeng fell
Beneet zee mooseec frum a ferzeer ruum.
Su hoo shuoold I presoome-a?
Und I hefe-a knoon zee iyes elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Zee iyes thet feex yuoo in a furmooleted phrese-a,
Und vhee I em furmooleted, sprevleeng oon a peen,
Vhee I em peenned und vreeggling oon zee vell,
Zeen hoo shuoold I begeen
Tu speet oooot ell zee boott-eeds ooff my deys und veys?
Und hoo shuoold I presoome-a?
Und I hefe-a knoon zee erms elreedy, knoon zeem ell—
Erms thet ere-a breceleted und vheete-a und bere-a
[Boot in zee lempleeght, dooned veet leeght broon heur!]
Is it perffoome-a frum a dress
Thet mekes me-a su deegress?
Erms thet leee-a elung a teble-a, oor vrep ebooot a shevl.
Und shuoold I zeen presoome-a?
Und hoo shuoold I begeen?
Shell I sey, I hefe-a gune-a et doosk thruoogh nerroo streets
Und vetched zee smuke-a thet reeses frum zee peepes
Ooff lunely mee in shurt-sleefes, leuneeng oooot ooff veendoos? …
I shuoold hefe-a beee a peur ooff regged clevs
Scoottleeng ecruss zee fluurs ooff seelent sees.
Und zee effternuun, zee ifeneeng, sleeps su peeceffoolly!
Smuuzeed by lung feengers,
Esleep… tired… oor it meleengers,
Stretched oon zee fluur, here-a beseede-a yuoo und me-a.
Shuoold I, effter tea und cekes und ices,
Hefe-a zee strengt tu furce-a zee mument tu its creesis?
Boot thuoogh I hefe-a vept und fested, vept und preyed,
Thuoogh I hefe-a seee my heed [groon sleeghtly beld] bruooght in upun a pletter,
I em nu pruphet—und here's nu greet metter;
I hefe-a seee zee mument ooff my greetness fleecker,
Und I hefe-a seee zee iternel Fuutmun huld my cuet, und sneecker,
Und in shurt, I ves effreeed.
Und vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt it, effter ell,
Effter zee coops, zee mermelede-a, zee tea,
Emung zee purceleeen, emung sume-a telk ooff yuoo und me-a,
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a,
Tu hefe-a beettee ooffff zee metter veet a smeele-a,
Tu hefe-a sqooeezed zee uneeferse-a intu a bell
Tu rull it tooerd sume-a oofervhelmeeng qooesshun,
Tu sey: "I em Lezeroos, cume-a frum zee deed,
Cume-a beck tu tell yuoo ell, I shell tell yuoo ell"—
Iff oone-a, settleeng a peelloo by her heed,
Shuoold sey: "Thet is nut vhet I meunt et ell.
Thet is nut it, et ell."
Und vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt it, effter ell,
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a,
Effter zee soonsets und zee duuryerds und zee spreenkled streets,
Effter zee nufels, effter zee teecoops, effter zee skurts thet treeel elung zee fluur—
Und thees, und su mooch mure-a?—
It is impusseeble-a tu sey joost vhet I meun!
Boot es iff a megeec luntern throo zee nerfes in petterns oon a screee:
Vuoold it hefe-a beee vurt vheele-a
Iff oone-a, settleeng a peelloo oor throoeeng ooffff a shevl,
Und toorneeng tooerd zee veendoo, shuoold sey:
"Thet is nut it et ell,
Thet is nut vhet I meunt, et ell."
. . . . .
Nu! I em nut Preence-a Hemlet, nur ves meunt tu be-a;
Em un ettendunt lurd, oone-a thet veell du
Tu svell a prugress, stert a scene-a oor tvu,
Edfeese-a zee preence-a; nu duoobt, un iesy tuul,
Defferentiel, gled tu be-a ooff use-a,
Puleetic, cootiooos, und meticooluoos;
Fooll ooff heegh sentence-a, boot a beet oobtoose-a;
Et times, indeed, elmust reedicooluoos—
Elmust, et times, zee Fuul.
I groo oold… I groo oold…
I shell veer zee bottums ooff my truoosers rulled.
Shell I pert my heur beheend? Du I dere-a tu iet a peech?
I shell veer vheete-a flunnel truoosers, und velk upun zee beech.
I hefe-a heerd zee mermeeeds seenging, iech tu iech.
I du nut theenk thet zeey veell seeng tu me-a.
I hefe-a seee zeem reeding seeverd oon zee vefes
Cumbeeng zee vheete-a heur ooff zee vefes bloon beck
Vhee zee veend bloos zee veter vheete-a und bleck.
Ve-a hefe-a leengered in zee chembers ooff zee sea
By sea-gurls vreezeed veet seeveed red und broon
till hoomun fueeces veke-a us, und ve-a droon.
---
And yet, in retrospect, the thought of Swedish Chef having existential Modernist angst is almost unbearably depressing. Here, have some real Swedish Chef to cheer you up:
Bork
And now I'm going to try writing hour!fic again. Ta.
[ETA} But before I do that, I've just read that apparently there's a bit in Supernatural where Castiel tells Dean (which one's he, again?) , in a completely serious voice, that "God was not on a tortilla in Mexico".
DAMMIT SHOW STOP TEMPTING ME TO WATCH YOU.
amused