stunt_muppet

I'm back in school.

I don't really want to be. Being back in school means having to take responsibility for my own life, means talking to people and making appointments and fixing things myself, means buying my own food and doing my own laundry and not having other people around to generally do stuff for me.

It also means no more hugs for a while. I miss hugs.

It also means I'm back to not talking for most of the day and spending most of the afternoon holed up in here, watching my roommate have a social life. Fun fun fun. These long periods of silence make me talk almost spastically once I find someone to talk to, which I'm sure people find annoying.

Really, having to do schoolwork doesn't bother me at all. It's just...this place can be awfully lonely. And it makes me feel like an adult when I don't want to be one yet, not really.

I have two letters to sign and mail for my internship. I should do those today instead of procrastinating like I always do. Also, I have someone who I've been meaning to call and thank for the past two weeks and I haven't done that yet. It's a wonder I ever get much of anything done. 

I sometimes wonder why I have this allergy to actually doing anything. How much trouble would it be to just head to the financial office and clear my obligations, or to write out two addresses and send an envelope? How much trouble would it be to pick up the phone, or to arrange my airport shuttle? But I just never do it. I look for reasons not to. It's gone beyond mere laziness at this point.

Oh, but I'm writing my little fics again. Of course. Because that's going to be significant in the long run.

Does it make me a bad person that one of the things I missed about college was having Mini Wheats and Diet Coke for lunch? I mean, that's hardly a good thing. Not nutritional in the slightest. But I missed it nonetheless.

I had a whole set of rants and rambles and miscellany all ready to go, but I just don't think I have the energy anymore.

It's funny how I complain about things but never do anything to fix them.

I am positive that by the end of the week I will feel better, but right now I want to go home.

On a less emotastic, whiny, immature note, we've been having lovely weather here.