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I'm...pretty sure I'm not supposed to cry while writing a scene in my own fic.

Either it's good, or I'm really self-indulgent. Can't decide which.

Has this happened to anyone else?

location: huge dorm of hugeness

Mood::

embarrassed

Music:: "Storm" - Vanessa-Mae

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There are 24 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

I got teary writing bits of Crystalline and felt very stupid.

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Crystalline made me all wibbly, I can tell you. More than once. Nothing to be ashamed of there.

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I cried the whole time I was writing Wednesday Afternoon (which is a Buffyverse story--don't know if you know that fandom at all).

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I...vaguely know the Buffy-verse; I saw a handful of episodes back in high school, and I know most of the characters and major plot developments. I'll be sure to give it a look, although I'm terribly behind in reviewing things.

Good to know it's not just me who does that, though.

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Oh, no, no reason to read it if you don't know the fandom. I linked because it drives me crazy when other people mention stories of theirs and don't link, that's all.

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Well, no personal experience to bring to this, but I know I read quite a few very tear-inducing chapters where the author is like, 'Yeah, totally made myself cry writing this,' so maybe it's not too unusual?

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I hope not - I've heard other people talk about it, but not very often, so I thought maybe I was just being overemotional.

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I shouldn't think so--it makes sense to me that when you're pulling out sad emotions for your fic you're probably going to end up making yourself cry. And these were experienced writers, too, so I don't think it's like, oh, you'll get over this the more you write.

Look at it as a good thing; if you make yourself cry, and you know what's going on, you'll likely get the desired response from your readers.

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Good point - and again, glad to know that experienced writers do it too.

My main worry is that, if I'm making myself cry, it must be too personal, you know? I don't know how much of it is true to the characters and how much of it is me writing in my own emotions or anxieties. I worry that it might not be objective.

Also, o hai you're right over there again.

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Also, o hai you're right over there again.
Hee, I totally am. And yet I'm still typing...

I don't know, even when situations are very personal, humans have this great talent of putting themselves into the situations or finding similar emotions of their own-->it's probably not just you, y'know?

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Yeah, I've done it to myself. And because I play my fics out in my head ahead of time (like a movie), I've actually made myself cry PLOTTING a fic. Yep. I iz a dork!

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I've done that from time to time too. (Or come close, anyhow.)

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That's...actually a bit closer to what I was doing. I say I was "writing" it so I don't sound pathetic, but I was only writing the outline and a few bits of the dialogue. But I could see and hear it playing out, and it just...made me lose it a bit.

Again, good to hear that it's not just me.

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No, but I have giggled at some of my own jokes, which I think is even worse.

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Really? I find laughing at one's own jokes quite understandable - if the author doesn't find them funny, why would they write them in?

Not that some jokes don't still get edited in beta, but still.

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Yeah, but it just feels really egotistical, you know?

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I've done that too. *hangs head* And I usually hate my own stuff, so the fact that I kept laughing at it made me really worried.

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...I can't remember laughing at anything I've written. Still, it seems to me like it would be a good thing. Humor's a bit more universal; sadness is so personal that if you're making yourself that upset, there's a chance you're just writing out your own emotions and anxieties rather than being true to character?

I don't know.

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I cried after writing a scene in Jamie, and whenever I reread it, I get teary-eyed, even though I think it's badly-written. I'm such a sap.

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Idle curiosity, but which one was it? Because I certainly remember going all wibbly on the inside reading.

(Also, gack, I am so so behind on reviewing. Will catch up soon, really I will.)

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It's the moment when Fourteen gets all sulky and Jamie, after recovering from the resulting fit of giggles, gets all serious and says "Now I know you really are the Doctor." I don't know why, but it gets to me.

And don't worry about reviewing. Take your time. :)

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I cried when I wrote the end of "November Rain," while Sarah Zelman was dropping crimson roses into Ground Zero. It was my way of grieving for everyone who died during 9/11. I did it to myself again writing "Black Talons," because I was sharing what it's like to bleed out and have a near-death experience. Both of those fics make a lot of other people cry, judging from the e-mails I get from readers.

I vent through my fic. As the writer Lawrence Block said best, "If you want to write, just open a vein."

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I vent through my fic.

I do too, to an extent, but I worry that if I let things get too personal, then I'm not being true to the characters. I am not them, and they are not me. They don't necessarily experience things the way I do. If I'm that upset or sad at what they're experiencing, how do I know if I'm being objective? What if I'm expressing my own emotions and anxieties at the cost of character integrity?

I imagine these worries don't quite apply for an original character, and I'm probably overthinking, but...still.

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Um...hormones?

J/K. I've seriously upset myself while writing my own fic...not because it was of surpassing brilliance, but because I could identify with it and it was making me think horrible depressing thoughts.

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stunt_muppet

Not sure if that's good or bad.

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