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posted by [identity profile] stunt-muppet.livejournal.com at 10:48pm on 17/09/2008
No, that sounds pretty much like me. :D Thanks for the advice - I just...feel like socialising should come more naturally to me by now, and yet it's still so much effort that I get sick of trying and would rather stay home and meta on The Daemons. And I worry that that's going to be me for the rest of my life. What you said about it coming more naturally is actually very reassuring, and I'm glad to hear that maybe it won't always be this hard.

*hugs*
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posted by [identity profile] silly-cleo.livejournal.com at 10:59pm on 17/09/2008
Thing is, I'm not saying give up entirely, I'm just saying, think about how miserable it's making you. If you're getting sick of trying, or you go out and you're just having NO fun, do stop for a bit. If you meet people you like, even only superficially you know pretty quickly, you know? *hugs* If you require cheering up on the subject, go find my entries from about this time in 2004. I'm having Buffy style freshman angst. :D

It's hard to explain, my uni experience was this weird mix of trial and error and giving up and trying again re: socializing and I was lucky cuz I had my flatmates who were as geeky as me so sometimes weeks and months at a time would go by and I'd stay at home and watch Who or Battlestar Galactica or X-Files or whatever together or all sit on our computers poking our various parts of the internet, vaguely worrying that we should get out more.

The other thing is, sometimes it's not you, it's just that you haven't found people you click with. All my people seemed to happen in my last year.

Anyway, poncy advice hat off, don't worry too much, am sure you'll be absolutely fine. *hugs again*
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posted by [identity profile] stunt-muppet.livejournal.com at 11:36pm on 18/09/2008
It's hard to explain, my uni experience was this weird mix of trial and error and giving up and trying again re: socializing and I was lucky cuz I had my flatmates who were as geeky as me so sometimes weeks and months at a time would go by and I'd stay at home and watch Who or Battlestar Galactica or X-Files or whatever together or all sit on our computers poking our various parts of the internet, vaguely worrying that we should get out more.

That's kind of like mine, actually. I have friends, and I wouldn't trade them for anything, and some days we'll just stay inside being geeky together, but...I worry that I'll move out, and I won't be near any of my college or high school friends, and I won't have the social skills and/or experience to meet new people, so I'll be screwed. That's what scares me most of all.

Thank you again. It helps to talk to someone who gets what I'm talking about. :D
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posted by [identity profile] silly-cleo.livejournal.com at 08:06am on 19/09/2008
I worry that I'll move out, and I won't be near any of my college or high school friends, and I won't have the social skills and/or experience to meet new people, so I'll be screwed.

This is exactly what worried me too. And my female flatmate for that matter. Then I realised that, yes, ok, I am using my flatmates as a sort of safety net/security blanket so I can avoid socializing AND still have friends and that caused me angst for MONTHS till I realised that was OK. Because someday I'd be in a situation where I WOULDN'T have that safety net, I'd HAVE to go out and socialize or not talk to anyone except on the internet and I realised that's when I'd do it and that's how I'd get better at it. So worst comes to the worst (and I don't think this will happen to you but let's look at the worst anyway) you spend all of college with your friends being geeky, have fun and do what you want to do, then you graduate and move somewhere new and you'll have to figure out socializing then. I think for people like us it's easier when you just HAVE to. And it's never too late to learn.

In comparison to me and my two flatmates, our 4th friend who we're equally close to went to a different uni and she didn't know anyone and was forced to go out and socialise. I figure that's the situation I'll be in wherever I end up going to stage school. Unless it's London in which case I'll be flatmates with 4th friend and one of now ex-Edinburgh flatmates and the whole process will start over. ;)

so yes, there's my life story, hope it helps.

Thank you again. It helps to talk to someone who gets what I'm talking about. :D

Please don't worry! Let me know if you've had enough of my rambling, I just figure I've JUST finished having this exact crisis so I might as well pass on my dubious newfound wisdom. ;D

The other thing is, something totally different might work for you and that's ok too. :D
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