stunt_muppet: (omfg whut)
Contrary to the title this entry is not whining about retail. It's still pretty sane here in the shop, and every day I praise the Patron Saint of Retail Workers that I am not working at Best Buy and have not had to break up any fights.

Nah, this entry is whining about actually for-real failing Organic Chem. I mean, I tried, the night before my final, to finish all the work I had to make up, I really did. And I studied. And then I got my third test back and saw I'd gotten a 42 out of 110 on it, which is somehow worse than I did on the test I didn't even finish.

And so I just said "fuck it" and hid in my room for the rest of the day until it was time to go to work and didn't even check to see if my professors e-mailed me because I just wanted to forget I'd ever taken that class.

In all honesty? I'd be okay with taking it again. It'd be kind of a waste of money, but I've saved up from working the holidays. What I'm most worried about is what kind of lie I'm going to tell my mother. I'm not looking forward to the freak-out "what's wrong with you, I thought you were getting better, you're so much better than this" business. I get why I failed - I was working plus taking care of her while she did her schoolwork plus taking care of my grandfather plus applying to/fretting over grad school plus getting sick plus not giving a crap about the class after the halfway point. But given that she wants me to go to grad school so bad I'm afraid she'll make me quit work, and I don't want to do that before I get another job. I need an outside job to feel useful, to feel like I'm doing something with myself, and also I hate having to borrow money from my parents.

I wish I still gave a crap. I hate not giving a crap, especially about grad school. As much as I hate the idea of it I feel like I don't have a choice, like if I don't have that impetus of "go to grad school" I'll have no direction and just sit around my parents' house and wallow. Even if I know I wouldn't.

Oh, and the mouspad on my computer stopped working, in more first-world-problem news. I need to try to scrounge up a USB mouse to make sure that it's just the mouse and not the whole computer suddenly, which I don't think it is since it boots up okay. Uuuugh. Why is everything kind of bollocks right now.

---

On a completely different note, listening to nonstop holiday music at the shop seriously makes me want to write about the various religions and psuedo-religions and gods and celebrations in my various fandoms. Like hey, wasn't Time considered a goddess in Doctor Who secondary canon? Odd, given the fact that Time Lords are supposed to be a highly advanced scientific society. Is this a sign of their decadence, or of how far they've fallen, that they attribute what they formerly had mastery over to the supernatural? And hey, maybe there's even a James Frazer "Golden Bough" thing going on where because so many sophisticated minds believe in this godlike force and as such that causes her to be real and time to stop behaving rationally.

Or hey, even Transformers. Primus/the planet/the creator is referred to as a god, but how does one worship or express faith in something that you know is currently extant and beneath your feet? What about the Thirteen, do people know about that? Are they like saints? Or Homestuck, with the obvious parallels between The Sufferer, the Dolorosa, the Disciple and the Psionic to Jesus, Mary, Mary Magdalene and Peter - and given all the dinners my family eats over at the Cuban place with all its Santeria candles I ended up thinking about the history of Marian devotion and how strongly Mary is represented in syncretic religions and hey, I wonder how that would go when not only is the Mary figure still alive (because she doesn't get killed till Mindfang's time) but the whole faith is sort of underground and secret and if any of the Sufferer's secret followers have a branch of Dolorosa devotion and I'm thinking about this too hard again aren't I.

Of course, this is sometimes this is the only think keeping me from punching someone in the face the 500th time I hear "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree", so there's that.

---

I plan on doing very little but sleeping tomorrow. 

---- 
Mood:: 'cold' cold
stunt_muppet: (Solitaire: A writer's best friend)
So. I finally got a job. Kind of.

I interviewed for a small nonprofit that works with health issues for LBT women. It's an unpaid internship, mostly maintaining a database of donors and keeping up with donor requests and needs. Honestly doesn't sound all that fun, and I wouldn't even get paid, but I think I'd like working there and it seems like a small, close environment. And also it's about health issues! With underserved populations! And they also talked to me about how they like to make sure they set their interns with a job at the end of the internship.

But I also interviewed for a position at the FDA. It's paid. And they haven't gotten back to me about it yet. I haven't even filled out the application yet, because I need to go through USAJobs and finish the application. And even then I might not get it.

And then of course there's my retail job to consider. I can probably continue it for the money if I took the internship, not with the full-time job. But I don't want to turn down the internship and then not get the FDA job.

And then, of course, Mom pointed out that if I took the internship I wouldn't be able to go to school. I want to just scream at her "I don't want to go to grad school, okay, I'm only applying because you want me to and I feel like I don't have a choice, stop going on about it."

Speaking of Mom I asked her the other day if she'd be very cross with me if I failed Organic Chem and had to take it again. Her answer: "Why? You're not going to fail, are you?"

Yeah thanks Mom I'm glad you didn't answer that question that's really great.

Ugh. Everything is Orgo and everything hurts. And I'd just really love to know why I can memorize all the interrelationships in Homestuck and all the nuances of dubiously-canon robot spirituality but I can't fucking remember how an epoxide reacts.

FUCK MY LOVE OF SCIENCE I'LL RUN AN ANTIQUE STORE OR SOME SHIT. 
Music:: "Beat the Devil's Tattoo" - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
stunt_muppet: (this is my TF icon)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 11:32pm on 03/12/2011 under ,
It never fucking fails. Our homework is due by midnight tonight, and the website we use to do said homework is down.

Oh well. Means it's not my fault if it's not finished, then.

Ugh, organic chem, guys. I know my mom will be pissed off at me if I fail this class, but you know what? I won't be pissed off at me. Actual scientists that I give job interviews with have failed Organic Chem and had to take it twice. It'll suck to have to pay the tuituion again, especially since it's all coming out of my pocket, but...well, hopefully Mom won't kick me out if I fail, because then I would be fucked, but other than that I will not spiral into inferiority and depression if I have to take it again. And that is what I am most worried about.

---

On another brief note, if you guys were to do a fanmix, would you go with music the character would like, or music that fits them? And what about if the music that you think fits is really popular, because I hear people complaining all the time about Top 40 music being on fanmixes and them all being the same.

To bed now, my batteries are running low.
stunt_muppet: (I have the dumb)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 01:19am on 20/09/2011 under , ,
It is twelve frakking thirty.

I have not done my homework.

Someone please explain to me why I'm still up reading AdFreak.

PLEASE TELL ME OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS AND I'M NOT A DELINQUENT. D:

So I figured I'd link to a few of my personal favorite things that I've found trawling the AdFreak archives (which, in case the title didn't tip you off, is about advertising at its best and worst):

1. I don't know if you all remember the Darth Vader Volkswagon ad and how unspeakably adorable it is, but you might want to rewatch it just in case you forgot.

2. To promote the movie Contagion, which is about a plague that kills everyone, Warner Brothers Canada made a bilboard out of (harmless) bacteria. I...will probably never see Contagion, because even the trailers send me into a fit of (nonserious) germophobic hysteria, but that is an innovative and very fun ad right there.

3. This is another one that I'm pretty sure everyone has seen but I don't actually care. You know the trailer for the (IMO somewhat unnecessary but let's not get into that) American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? The Muppets have their own version now. How is it possible that I only love the Muppets more as I grow up.

Also, the version of "Immigrant Song" in the trailer is by Trent Reznor and Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and while I am normally morally opposed to covers of Led Zeppelin songs it does sound pretty cool.

4. Willie Nelson covers Coldplay's "The Scientist" for an animated short film by Chipotle supporting sustainable farming. While the film's message does come across a bit...odd (Save the adorable little cartoon piggies! So you can put them on your burritos later!), the cover is emotional and heartfelt - more so than the original in my opinion, although that largely depends on your taste for both Coldplay and Willie Nelson.

5. TRIGGER WARNING, may be triggering or upsetting to those with family members who suffered in the Holocaust. )


6. On a much lighter note, an adorable girl and her equally adorable teddy bears expertly pop and lock for Chocolate Weetabix. I want this to become a flash mob.

7. Also, puppies.

Okay now I really am going to bed. Good night/morning/whatever, flist. Hope I can not skip class tomorrow like the deadbeat I am. D:
Music:: "Edge of Glory" - Lady Gaga
Mood:: 'nervous' nervous
stunt_muppet: (this is my TF icon)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 11:35pm on 29/08/2011 under , ,
I'm sorry. That was terrible.

I wonder why it is that, during the week I had no classes and very little work, I made little progress whatsoever on the many nonessential fandom- and internet-related tasks I had in mind, and now that I'm taking Organic Chemistry and have increased work hours coming up (with the pending Fall and Holiday seasons) all I can think about is "hey I really should write/plot out my original fiction for once/actually do shit with the comms I mod/reply to that professor who liked me/send those photos to my old entomology professor/write/type up that big post about (cultural appropriation and music/racial divides and music/crap I found while cleaning my room/why people keep reviewing A Serbian Film when they know it's horrible going in/whether I should study bugs for a living) that I keep meaning to.

At least I spent several days that week cleaning my room? So I got some real-world stuff done, anyway. And Organic doesn't look nearly as intimidating now that I know I got a B in regular Chem. And I've gotten my act together to start applying for assistant jobs at Discovery Channel and National Geographic, because no less that three people (one of whom is my mother's professor, and who has never met me) have recommended I start looking for work there, so I figure maybe this is a sign or something. Fingers crossed.

And it is once again late and bedtime. Don't want to be tired in class.
stunt_muppet: (round thing)
Yeah, I signed up to take that one too, because I figure your scores stay valid for a year or two I might as well take it before all the knowledge in my head atrophies. But still, more standardized testing, why. :(

But first, Round 1 of the Interview Meme that goes around every so often. Just in case you don't know the rules:

1. You comment on this entry.
2. I ask you five questions.
3. You answer those five questions in a post on your journal.
4. When people comment on that entry, you ask them five questions.
5. They answer those five questions in a post on their journal.
6. When people comment on that post, they ask them-- et cetera et cetera ad infinitum.

[livejournal.com profile] kayliemalinza  asked me these:

Lots and lots of text and some pictures behind the cut. )

... ugh, and I still have GREs to study for. At least I have the excuse of having volunteer positions to interview for and stuff today, so it's not like I completely toodled around on the internet today.

AND NOW IT IS SLEEP TIME.
Music:: "Alejandro" - Lady Gaga
stunt_muppet: (kermit says yay!)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 08:34pm on 18/05/2010 under ,

I graduated.

Walked across the stage. Got my diploma. Have a cumulative 2.9 GPA, which is not as good as I would have liked, but you know what? I still graduated on time and got that degree despite spending a year and a half being useless.

Anyway. CHECK ME OUT I'M AN ALUMNI NOW.

Now I'm back home. I just need to get a job and then everything will be good. :D


Mood:: 'rejuvenated' rejuvenated
stunt_muppet: (kermit says yay!)

:D

posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 05:58pm on 10/05/2010 under ,
I'm finished!

I'm done!

I'm gonna graduate!

I mean, I'm sure I'll be super sad again once I've actually graduated, but for now? I have no more work to do. Except job applications. But essays! I have no more of those!

:D
Mood:: 'cheerful' cheerful
stunt_muppet: (nom nom nom)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 04:09am on 10/05/2010 under ,
One day I will learn that the proper reaction to hearing mention of something disturbing, disgusting, or repulsive is to avoid it at all costs and not think about it anymore, rather than horrible, masochistic curiosity.


Am on page six of my last paper! And I haven't even started talking about the films I'm going to talk about, so it looks like this paper will be of decent length and have some meat to it! Although I should probably actually get to those films given that I have five hours left to write. Er.

Type type type.
Music:: "Sonne" - Rammstein
Mood:: 'sleepy' sleepy
stunt_muppet: (kermit says yay!)
posted by [personal profile] stunt_muppet at 10:48pm on 05/05/2010 under ,
FINISHED WITH 2/3 ASSIGNMENTS.

ONLY THE FINAL OVERDUE ESSAY LEFT.

EVERYTHING WITH SOLID DEADLINES FINISHED.

THANK YOU TINKERBELL JEEBUS.

*collapses*
Mood:: 'drunk' drunk

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