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Oh wow has it really been since May since I was here?

That's sad.

The worst part is, it's not like I don't have anything to talk about! I have lots to talk about, but that's part of the problem - things just keep happening and I have more and more things to put in an entry like this and so because I have so much to talk about I never know how to say it satisfactorially I end up never saying it at all.

New job has gone super super well so far! I think they really do want to keep me on past the end of my part-time appointment, since they talk about giving me assignments past the end of my part-time assignment, in September. Which is exciting, since I've been trying to get a full-time job for two years now, but also a little scary!

There was about two weeks there when my parents were both out of the house on vacation, and it was up to me to fix dinner, get all the chores done, feed the dog, get to and from work on time, assign menus and tasks for my brother and me to make sure the dog got fed when I worked late and the plants got watered and everything and the laundry got done, and as I was preparing bills to pay to drop off before I went to work, and it occurred to me - am I, like, being an adult? Is this what adulthood looks like?

It was nice to feel capable (and let me tell you, just having a job has done wonders for my mood, never mind holding down the house), but at the same time it's like OH MY GOD WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

I'm still working at the shop a few days a week, too, which means I have super long and tiring days and my back is starting to ache on occasion, but honestly it kind of feels good having stuff to do. It makes it so much easier not to feel useless or like I'm wasting time. Even if I'm creating that business for myself and it's completely false.

Unfortunately working all this time has kind of sapped my writing energy - I have ideas, but when I'm not too tired to write them it just doesn't feel worth it - either because it's something no one cares about or it'll be too much work or my writing is terrible so there's no point in continuing to write fic, things like that. Perhaps a tradeoff for feeling so good about myself in other respects?

That'll be all for this entry; I'm going to keep this short so I don't get all intimidated and not finish it again! And also I need to go to bed because commuting into the city every morning means getting up at 6, bleeeh. That's a part of adulthood I can do without.
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